(After watching, scroll down to discover more about your attachment style)
The dizzying swings between craving closeness and pushing it away.
The overwhelming urge to run just when someone gets close.
The exhausting dance between desperately wanting love and being terrified of it.
Deep down, you don't want to be caught in this constant tug-of-war. But your mind and heart seem locked in an endless battle, pulling you in opposite directions when you feel most vulnerable.
You have a Disorganized attachment style, an internal conflict that's been silently controlling your relationships.
The Turmoil and Truth About Your Disorganized Attachment
Your quiz results have just named something you've felt in your bones but could never quite explain: that constant internal battle in relationships, the way love comes packaged with fear, the endless cycle of pushing and pulling that leaves you exhausted.
You're not "too complicated" or "too damaged." You are carrying patterns that were imprinted onto your heart long ago.
Caught in an emotional storm
One moment, you're desperately reaching for connection, yearning to be close. The next, you're overwhelmed by fear, retreating into yourself as if your survival depends on it.
This isn't just about being unsure in relationships.
It's about feeling like your heart and mind are at war, each fighting for control over your actions.
While others seem to navigate relationships with a clear compass, you're caught in a storm of conflicting impulses, desperately trying to find solid ground.
Relationships becoming a battlefield
The internal conflict always pulls you in opposite directions, creating chaos in your relationships and confusion in your partners.
You're capable of deep love and profound connection, but the moment it starts to feel real, your protective instincts kick in, sending you into a spiral of approach and retreat that leaves everyone dizzy and hurt.
You shapeshift between seeking intimacy and pushing it away, never finding the stable ground you desperately crave.
Your mind constantly switching gears
Every sign of affection becomes both a beacon of hope and a warning signal.
Every emotional connection is like a lifeline AND a threat. You've become hypervigilant in your relationships, analyzing every interaction for signs of both danger and safety, never sure which voice to trust.
The exhausting part? You know you're doing it. You can see it's tearing your relationships apart. But you can't stop - because both closeness and distance feel equally terrifying.
A heart divided against itself
You find yourself caught in an impossible situation:
"I need you close, but I can't trust you."
"I want love, but it terrifies me."
"I crave connection, but it feels like a trap."
Each attempt at intimacy becomes a battle between your need for love and your fear of being hurt. The cruel irony? Your protective responses often create the very pain you're trying to avoid, leaving you feeling more alone and confused than ever.
I know (personally) what it’s like to struggle with an insecure and frustrating attachment style.
And guess what? You're far from alone
Disorganized attachment isn't just "how you are." It's a response to trauma. And responses can change. It's a signal from your nervous system. And signals can be rewired.
Many people struggle with disorganized attachment in their relationships. But starting NOW, you can begin to find balance and stability in your connections.
But you are NOT alone.
Here Is What Some Of My Clients Have Said
About Their Journey With Me
Close Your Eyes And Imagine What it Would Be Like…
Right now, this might sound so unbelievable that the possibility of stable, secure love doesn't make sense.
Melly felt the same way.
Melly's Journey From Disorganized to Secure
Melly never imagined she'd be starting over at 42.
A divorced mom of two, she had just escaped an extremely verbally abusive marriage that left her emotional world in shambles.
"I felt like I was constantly at war with myself," Melly recalled.
"One day, I'd pour my heart out to someone, sharing every vulnerability. The next day, I'd be consumed by suspicion and fear. I'd swing between intense emotional outbursts and completely shutting down. It was exhausting for me and terrifying for my kids."
Her relationship history was a chaotic storm of intensity and withdrawal.
She'd throw herself into relationships, desperately seeking safety, only to be overwhelmed by terror when someone actually got close.
Every relationship followed the same pattern: intense emotional intimacy followed by panic and withdrawal, leaving both her and her partners confused and hurt.
By her mid-20s, Melly found herself married to a man who recognized and exploited her conflicted feelings about intimacy. He'd use her fear of abandonment to keep her close, then trigger her fear of intimacy to maintain control.
"I could never trust my own judgment."
"When he was kind, I'd be suspicious of his motives. When he was cruel, I'd convince myself I deserved it. I was constantly on edge, trying to predict his next move while doubting my own perceptions."
"After the divorce, I knew I needed to change. Not just for me, but for my children. I couldn't keep repeating this pattern."
Then, she discovered Dr. Nima.
"For the first time, I understood that my contradictory reactions weren't character flaws – they were protective responses to past trauma," Melly explained "Instead of beating myself up for being 'broken,' I learned to listen to my fears with compassion while gradually building trust."
She practiced staying present with her emotions without being overwhelmed by them – a skill that felt impossible at first but gradually became more natural. Each small success in managing her emotional storms built confidence in her ability to keep healthy boundaries through a growing sense of self-worth.
She's found the courage to start dating and is learning to trust herself. Instead of swinging between emotional extremes, she can identify her triggers and communicate her needs clearly. Her relationships with her children have deepened as she's able to provide consistent emotional support.
"My kids used to walk on eggshells, never knowing which mom they'd get. Now they can count on me to be emotionally present and stable. We're all healing together."
"I used to think relationships were supposed to feel like a roller coaster. Now I understand that true love feels more like a peaceful journey. I'm finally experiencing the stability I always craved, and my kids are too."
Like Melly, your journey to secure, stable love can start here.
In The Depths Of Our Relationship Struggles And Trauma, It Would Be A Profound Gift If Someone Had Some Real Answers
I get it because I’ve been where you are now.
Hi, my name is Dr. Nima Rahmany. For years, I struggled with the emotional baggage of my past. I saw the same unhealthy patterns playing out and ruining my relationships.
And no matter what I did, they kept showing up, beating me up, and destroying my life. A failed marriage and a series of toxic relationships.
But then, almost by accident, I discovered the key to true healing...
My Attachment Style
In the process...
I was able to heal my wounds.
Confidently Heal The Root Cause
Of Your Struggles Even In Uncertain Relationships
At the core of every dysfunctional relationship is an attachment style formed in early childhood.
This attachment style governs how you connect with others.
Your attachment style determines whether you feel secure, valued, and loved—or whether you struggle with feelings of abandonment, insecurity, and fear.
…So… if you’ve found yourself in a series of toxic relationships or continue to battle unresolved trauma, it’s likely that you’re operating from a dysfunctional attachment style.
Blood, sweat, tears, trauma.
But, as sure as I am a living, breathing human...
I promise you DO NOT have to go on suffering.
Dr. Nima Rahmany
Becoming aware of your disorganized attachment is a big step. From now on, you can label unhelpful patterns and feelings as they come up. You are on a path.
But if you feel ready to move forward in a healing journey, even in uncertain relationships, keep reading.
If not, take what you have heard and know in your heart: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
There is a community of people who understand you, and should you decide to seek us out, we are here for you.
I’m sending you my deepest wishes for healing.
Still here?
Please Read This Carefully
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Here Is What Some Of My Clients Have Said
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Heal And Grow In Your Love And Connection
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