Over the past few weeks, I spoke to more than 30 women who identified as successful in work,
(Bossbabes, if you will) who "didn’t need a man” to take care of them.
Even though they considered themselves independent,
many of them tearfully shared with me
some of the struggles they were facing in their relationships.
What I discovered was a “eureka” moment for them.
It was almost as if they were all dating (or married to) the SAME DUDE.
Through our conversation, they were able to discover their blind spots that were pushing healthy
masculine leadership energy away,
and unknowingly attracting men (and behavior in their men)
who wouldn’t commit, wouldn’t plan, and wouldn’t lead
into devotion.
Quite the opposite.
Many of these men were actually more like children,
feeding off their energy, extracting from these women
much like having another child in the house.
Of course they were living in a constant state of resentment
about life in general, they all had a few things in common.
Take a wild guess what it could be.
You’ve heard the term “blind spots” in driving on the road.
We also have Blind Spots in our psyche.
They are parts of ourselves that we can’t see,
like trying to read the label of a jar from the inside.
Blind Spots are unconscious parts of ourselves
that cause us to unknowingly create our own suffering.
Parts of us that are too painful to admit are there, but they are.
And unless we have the courage to face them and get them exposed,
we are doomed to repeat the same cycle again and again, like groundhog Day.
You know exactly what I’m talking about:
Same arguments every time, like a broken record.
One woman was married and divorced 7 times and tried all the therapies without finding the root of it,
but through our interaction— was able to see what she hadn’t been able to in all the years:
Her part in the dynamic that was causing relationships to break down,
without fault or blame.
Another woman who was married and divorced 4 times,
now in a relationship with an avoidant who doesn’t make her a priority,
also couldn’t see her blind spot despite all the books and therapies:
She was so preoccupied with him and diagnosing him that she didn’t
acknowledge what she needed to change within HERSELF to inspire him to commit.
It pains me to hear their stories because most therapies they try are about validating their side of the story,
rather than committing to actual healing—
which involves learning SKILLS instead of venting stories.
No one had the courage to tell these women the truth of their blind spots,
because it would have bruised their ego.
One of the women was an actual counsellor and therapist and was stunned to hear my feedback
on her blind spots. She received it gracefully and gratefully, admitting that she wouldn’t be
allowed to be so direct with her clients— that it would run the risk of her getting a complaint to the board.
The only problem with that is that having your blind spot revealed is CRITICAL
if you want to change your relationship pattern.
Tell me if you notice what I call the “Bossbabe Conundrum”:
If you want to drop being in charge of the relationship, it’s not just about HIM.
Something within YOU needs to change, and your ego won’t like it.
Otherwise, you can leave that partner but the next person you date—
same person, different haircut.
So in service to all boss babes who want out of the conundrum,
I invite you to watch or listen to this one hour podcast.
Listen now, or save it for later— I start first with the back story of
why a man like me would want to speak to Bossbabes who are brave enough
to taste the bitter medicine of the truth in order to attract men who are mature,
devotional, protectors, providers.
If you’re a person who gets offended with the notion that a man has
some potent information for powerful women who want to learn how to
reign it in so they don’t scare off quality men— then this podcast won’t be for you.
But if you want to see if you can identify with some blind spots so that you
can stop pushing high-value secure love away, then this podcast episode is for you.
After you listen, send it to someone who you know is struggling in their relationship,
and see if they relate too.
If you stay to the end, you’ll see some traits that some quality men (when asked) shared
about what they consider irresistible for being wife material.
If you’ve ever dreamed of being devotionally led by a healthy masculine partner,
you’ll want to grab a pen and start getting to work.
You deserve love that is secure.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
OFFER FOR YOU IF YOU WANT HONEST INTUITIVE FEEDBACK
ON YOUR BLIND SPOTS (delivered with love— your Persian Big Brother-style)
P.S. If you identify as a boss babe (or a man who’s successful at work)
but feel the opposite in love,
and you are not willing to tolerate continuing the rest of 2024 and beyond like this,
being run by the anxious/avoidant dance,
and you’re wondering if you have these same blind spots mentioned,
and you are WILLING to hear some feedback that might sting a little,
but will be delivered in a way where you can implement immediately
and people will start to feel a shift in you (but not know what it is about you— but you will)
hit reply and give me your back story on how you’ve been able to produce results in your life,
but can’t figure the relationship part out. Tell me what it’s been like for you,
and ask me “NIMA CAN YOU PLEASE SEND YOUR PRIVATE CALENDAR LINK”
and if I can see some blind spots in your story that could be worked on,
I’ll send you my calendar link. This is absolutely free— it’s a trade of value
fr me as I’m going to be creating an offer to help women feel safer in their feminine,
so you’ll also be helping me with the content with your stories and challenges.
This was definitely eye opening & somewhat hard to hear, but absolute gold to someone who wants to grow & be better! And you are spot on, they are blind spots that we all need to hear, whether we want to or not! Thank you so much Dr. Nima!!