there’s a fear that is likely stopping you from living to your potential.
Nope, it’s not the fear of death, either.
It’s the fear of being judged critically by others.
In my experience working in the world of helping people in their relationship dynamics,
going from “should I stay or go” relationships,
not resolving this underlying fear is keeping people from executing
on creating the life they want.
In love, in sex, and in money.
Since sex and money are the most common arguments between couples,
I thought it would be wise to unpack the root cause of why we get stuck here.
Let’s break it down.
If you have a high value for building wealth because of a poor upbringing,
you’re likely going to be partnering with someone with a different money story than you,
and you’re likely going to be surrounded by them as well.
Our behavior is governed by our values— our priorities— what we deem most important.
And guess where these values come from?
You might be thinking “upbringing” but it goes even deeper.
We get our values from what we perceived to be missing the most.
In other words, our values come from our VOIDS in life.
We seek and value what we are missing the most.
And if something doesn’t align with what a human being values,
we will have a negative judgment on it.
This is why it’s impossible to please everyone.
and when we live in fear that our lifestyle or what we value will be judged by someone,
just know that’s EXACTLY what’s going to happen.
As Byron Katie says "It’s their JOB to judge you”.
The real question is— what happens internally when they do?
This is where most of us get stuck in the fantasy that others should approve of our choices.
You might overtly KNOW that’s not true,
but every time you have a desire— to grow financially, to express yourself sexually,
to speak your opinion….
and you feel like you’re going to be critically judged,
that fear will stop you, not because of the external judgement.
IT’S BECAUSE OF THE JUDGEMENT YOU’RE MAKING ABOUT YOURSELF.
This is one of hundreds of insights and trainings we discuss with our cyclebreakers
who are all working to liberate themselves from their past,
and create lives with love, sex, and money that they didn’t have before.
They are all dumbfounded when they realize how much they’ve been living in fear
of the opinions and judgements of others,
and relieved to get that it’s not the judgements of others that have killed their relationships and life situation,
But the covert fantasies of having everyone agree with them that’s the problem.
Dissolve the fantasy that everyone SHOULD agree with you,
and you’re free.
I talk about it in this clip of an amazing podcast interview I did with a financial advisor, Hannah Chapman.
You won’t ever stop human beings from judging.
But you CAN shift your expectation that they SHOULDN’T judge.
It’s not your fault if you haven’t gotten this yet.
You haven’t likely yet learned the skills to becoming Trigger-Proof.
And when you do,
you’re free to live the life you want:
in love, sex, and money.
Your wingman on the adventure,