Why do you think that 80% of divorce is initiated by women?
If you’ve ever been in a “should I stay or go” situation,
check this story out.
Frank’s wife Janet said “I’m done. I need you to leave.”
After an infidelity was caught 7 years prior,
their relationship slowly eroded despite weekly couples therapy sessions.
Finally she felt hopeless and had had enough.
The difference here was that
Frank was one of those rare men.
He was willing to do whatever it took.
He was willing to face his shadows.
The traditional therapy route had them showing up every single week
arguing over which story was right.
7 years into therapy, the arguments were no longer about the infidelity anymore.
She had lost respect for him,
because he had lost respect for himself.
When a man’s self worth has been wiped away,
gets triggered easily,
and is unable to help his woman through her emotions.
He’s looking to be validated instead of leading her.
And because of this, she’s exhausted.
Exhausted from not feeling seen,
Exhausted from having to be the one leading the relationship.
The worst part is that even though she has to step up and take the lead,
she just doesn’t want to.
She’s tired of having to be the mother.
In that space obviously it seems that divorce was the only option.
That’s when Frank found a link among dozens he was researching,
After the 6 hour deep dive was over I remember him making a comment in the chat box
saying “For the first time in years, I have a glimmer of hope”.
He realized that all the years of talk therapy didn’t teach him
thefundamental skills REQUIRED to ensure a secure relationship can thrive.
And that wasn’t his fault.
He realized that he didn’t need therapy.
He needed training.
Becoming Trigger-Proof was what he committed to.
Within a few months— his wife saw a change in him that she never saw before.
He wasn’t reacting the way he used to.
He was able to regulate himself when he was irritated.
The fact that he became irritated with her was a MAJOR cause of dysregulation for her,
because it reminded her of when she was younger and her father would get irritated.
She had to figure out what he was learning.
Fast forward to today— Both Frank and Janet STILL get triggered with one another (like all couples do).
They STILL have conflict.
But they know how to repair.
They both know how to take responsibility.
And as a result they are teaching their children how to navigate their emotions and conflict as well,
thereby breaking the cycle of toxic trauma bonds from passing to the innocent next generation.
Frank was able to prevent himself from being another statistic of the 80% that would have his wife initiate divorce.
Becoming Trigger-Proof is not for the faint of heart.
Most would rather remain victims.
Most say they are “too busy” to learn.
Most wouldn’t open up the space and time to learn these skills.
And they would then sit back and witness their relationships keep eroding—
and instead of their marriages being a “fortress for well-being”,
it feels more like a sandcastle in a hurricane.
on December 16th our Cyclebreakers community is doing a special Overview Experience event,
and I’m taking 10 couples in distress who are committed to breaking the toxic cycle they learned from their family system…
10 couples who want to be an example for their children.
10 couples who are tired of having their home feel like a battlefield
and I’m going to be teaching them how to turn that home into a sanctuary.
10 couples who know they DESERVE to thrive in a safe and connected home,
mastering the art of conflict and repair,
so they can grow in intimacy instead of withering away into complacency, resentment, blame, and disconnection—
and prevent a divorce which can be traumatic and costly to everyone involved.
If you’re ready to open up the space and time to heal,
Your wingman on the adventure,