Blog Articles by Dr. Nima

If you have a sibling, think of what it was like when you were younger and got into a conflict with them.   How did your parents react to you?   Taking sides, frustration, shaming, invalidation... Often not helpful in repair and resolution.   I never really thought...

(4 min read)   In the book “Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene, he summarizes in a beautiful way the focus of my life’s work:   Think back to your younger self-- growing up as a child (if you can remember it):   In the first 3 or 4 years our brains are especially...

Like millions of parents out there, Jenny had an anxious kid. The worst part of seeing our kids struggle with anxietyis the feeling of powerlessness we have.We just want them to know they’re going to be ok. “Calm down”“Take deep breaths”“don’t be anxious” are likely...

I remember the moment when I decided I was never going to invite my friend to stay over again.   Our friendship had deepened over time. We would go out to the clubs to dance with the ladies.   Sometimes we would double date.   I was new to the city and my social...

Take a moment to reflect on how boundaries were modelled to you growing up.Were you punished for sharing them?Guilted into removing them? In my family system, they weren’t really taught to us elegantly. I’m not even blaming my parents, either.We can’t lead others...

Its official. As a general rule, we humans suck at boundaries. We either completely bulldoze over our boundaries to the point of abandoning ourselves dude to the fawn response, Or we are imprisoned by them and become reactive jerks. There’s an in between, and on this...

There’s a hidden root cause behindmost of our relationship challenges. And it’s not about the “other” person. It’s something more insidious.In fact you can’t even feel it most of the time. Most of us who are stuck in relationship dynamics that feel toxic,living in a...

What are your fantasies? At first glance, you might be thinking that I’m talking about sexuality and fetishes. I’m not. I’m talking about the root cause of our Trauma Bonds. Picture this:you grow up in a childhood where you experienced the wounding of:...

These days my inbox is inundated with peopletelling me how their ex is a narcissist. And I get it, too. I’m married now in a secure bond that’s polarized, butwhen I was unpacking the sh*t show that was my last relationship I was in,I was surprised to discover that I...