The Impact Of Your Inner Work On Your Children

Written By Dr. Nima

On April 18, 2024
Imagine it was 40 years ago.

And your parents were about to make an important decision.
They were sitting on an opportunity to help them heal a part of themselves.
They were on the precipice of deciding if NOW is the time
to resolve some of their childhood wounding.

The wounding that had them feeling like they were "not enough”.
The wounding that had them living with so much anxiety and pain.
The wounding that had them turn to addictions to help them regulate.
The wounding that contributed to their chronic health issues.
The wounding that caused them to be so reactive or shut down,
unable to be with your emotions,
and unable to understand and validate your perspective,
because they were too disconnected from themselves.

Take a moment and consider how that would have impacted your life if they did.

How would that impact your sense of self worth?
How would that impact your sense of self trust?
How would that impact your relationship with them and yourself?

Would you have wanted that for them?

What if they were “too busy”?

Would you have insisted they learn?

You bet you would.

That’s why Mark jumped “all-in" to do his inner healing work.

Initially he was in a “should I stay or go” situation with his wife.

She was ready to move on after trying to connect with him for years,
all to no avail.

She had enough.

And in so many cases with men who finally take responsibility
for healing their reactivity—that was Mark’s wake up call as well.

When he reached out to me, he was so disconnected from himself
and his wife— and here was his telltale sign when I asked him:

Do you love yourself?

At the time, he wasn’t able to even look in a mirror— let alone say “I love you”
to himself.

But he was committed to learning
how to become Trigger-Proof and Integrating his shadows—
the younger parts of himself that was holding onto shame.

He also became proficient at breaking the rupture/repair cycle.
He really got that those were critical skills not taught in school,
not taught to him by his parents, but he was committed to teaching them.

Today, the impact has been huge.

Even though he’s now separated with his wife, their relationship has flourished
as conscious co-parents for his two children.

And the best part of all:

His children couldn’t fathom saying “I love you” to themselves before he took on the work.

Today, they can and they do, and it’s all because of the fact that A RISING TIDE LIFTS ALL BOATS.

Our kids learn how to relate to themselves simply by watching us.
Our Anxiety becomes their anxiety.
Our sense of self worth becomes theirs.

Mastering this one skill of self-worth in our lives
prevents our children from having to spend thousands on therapy
because they learned through our unconscious behavior that they weren’t enough.

The greatest gift to our children is to provide them with parents that TRULY love themselves.
Their physical and mental health depends on how stable their parents are,
with themselves, with each other,
This is how we break the cycle.

Imagine if your parents took that on 40 years ago, and learned those skills.

How would your life be different?

The best news of all is that it’s never too late to rewire your past experience.
When you do, your magnetism emerges as you feel safer in your skin,
and all your relationships — with EVERYONE around you transforms
as a reflection of the safety you feel within yourself.

You’re THAT powerful.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

P.S. Ready to learn what it takes to break the cycle?
If you’re a parent and are concerned about how your
unresolved material could be impacting your kids and teens,
and want to learn about the foundations to ensure
that your children have the skills to ensure they
are raised to love and trust themselves,
you’re welcome to join my Cyclebreakers community
workshop: Connecting to an Anxious Child:
Support Your Kid's Emotional Health
by Becoming a Polyvagal Parent (From a Somatic Lens).
In this 3 hour workshop on Friday April 19th from 4-7pm PST (7-10EST)
we will cover the nuances that you didn’t learn growing up:
How to help a child move through uncomfortable emotions like anger and anxiety,
and how to stop repeating the same mistakes your parents made
and learn become the conscious, polyvagal parent your child needs.
$30 for a live zoom session with Q and A, with the replay taken down
after 48 hours.
If you’re wanting to learn how to turn anxiety into safety and
fear into freedom and pass that along to your child, you are most welcome.

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