Reality Check

Written By Dr. Nima

On December 9, 2022

If you’re basing your future on your partner changing and you’re waiting / hoping for them to get some sort of therapy to become more emotionally available to you….

A good check in right now before the holiday season starts…..



I have had to bite my lip several times in the last few weeks talking to people who simply refuse to look at the glaring truth of their situation — -completely unaware of the power and influence they keep giving away.

Here’s what it looks like.

Step 1) person complains that their partner isn’t showing up for them.

Step 2) person becomes aware that their partner is treating them to the same degree of respect and admiration they are showing themselves — as informed by their childhood woundings.

Step 3) they realize the reflection — but still carry on about how their partner doesn’t take on responsibility. After all- “what’s the point of me doing all the work if they won’t?”


Both parties in the relationship can be overweight and unhealthy.

Ideally both parties wake the f** up and get healthy together….

But what happens when your partner doesn’t?

How can you “get them to”?

By getting healthy yourself and realizing you will no longer tolerate being with someone who can’t pull their own weight.

By having them see you living well and becoming inspired to.

It’s time we stopped using our partners as scapegoats critiquing them through a magnifying glass and started looking at them as mirrors and seeing our own reflections and going INSIDE first.

If we don’t, we will forever be “waiting” and giving our power and life force energy away.

When we do, we form the foundation of secure love and deep trust and intimacy — — because we have found it for OURSELVES.

I’m so stoked to be guiding the peeps of our Cyclebreakers community through the Overview Experience next Saturday December 17th — just before the mad rush of the holidays.

We are opening 15 spots for guests who aren’t in our Cyclebreakers portal/collective communities to jump in and join.
As an added bonus, all the guests will receive an integration call after the event to help process everything that came up and help set the path moving forward to apply what was learned so that you feel safer in your body, more confident and secure in your boundaries, and open to receive the goodness you’ve been unconsciously pushing away due to a sense of a “lack of deserving”.

Check in:
What part of you needs the most growth in 2023?

Jump in with the link and join us — and let me know what you’d love to focus on in the intake form and I’ll be sure to include it in the training.

Dr. Nima

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

You May Also Like...

Where Men Drop The Ball

There’s no shortage of complaints about how men show up in relationships.   We fear what we don’t understand.   Most men don’t understand women. (And most women don’t understand men.)   From a very young age, we ALSO get so many mixed messages.     - Be a man, don’t...

read more

He’s Watching

He’s watching me. He can feel my energy.He knows when I’m upset. And he can feel when there is tension between me and his mother. He’s learning. He’s observing my reactions. My language.My tone of voice. He’s watching how we speak to one another.How we react to one...

read more

Understanding The Push/Pull Dynamic

Did you ever wonder why the push-pull dynamic keeps coming upin insecure relationship dynamics? It all makes perfect sense when you study the mechanism. Insecure (and exhausting) push-pull dynamics happen becausewe haven’t yet learned how to navigate the two primary...

read more