I hate this question so much
that I decided to create content about it
so that forever more, I can keep referring back to it
when I’m asked the question:
“I’ve tried so many things. How will I know if this will work for me?”
First off, I want you to know how much I can empathize with the question.
Nobody wants to invest their time and resources into something,
and then feel like they are spinning their wheels getting nowhere.
So I’m going to show you how we make sure
that those who decide to become #Cyclebreakers
and heal from their insecure relationships, codependency,
and trauma bonds can look back with great satisfaction
and see that indeed, their lives are unrecognizable
to what they were before doing the deep work.
Essentially, the goal of any deep work is this:
YOU WANT TO RESPOND DIFFERENTLY TO TRIGGERSTHAT YOU NORMALLY WOULD HAVE REACTED TO.
That’s how you know the work has “worked”.
And in order to get there,
in our processes with our clients and students,
we make sure to have them get clear on two things.
Ask yourself this:
1) Can you decide on a “dream come true outcome” for you?
What do you want to happen in your life/health/relationships within the next six months that would have you feeling like this was the greatest
training you ever participated in?
- This question helps us get clarity on why you’re doing the work
in the first place. And please don’t say “I want to be happy.”
That’s so… vague.
I’m living the life of my dreams right now,
some days aren’t happy, and I go through challenging days
where I forget how blessed I am.
Instead of “I want to be happy and confident and fearless!!”
which is vague, fleeting, and fantasy-based,
try on “I want to feel excitement to tackle the challenges of my day,”
which speaks about resilience and capacity rather than living a one-sided fantasy.
Notice the difference in the outcome?
That’s doable and has a path towards being successful when you master
nervous system regulation (which is the first module in all our programs).
Instead of “I want to have a happy relationship!” which is vague and fantasy-based,
try on “I want to be able to repair from conflict within minutes instead of weeks.”
that’s a realistic outcome that we can reverse engineer through the work.
This is another training that can easily be implemented with practice.
Whenever we interview applicants who want to work with us,
whenever they share their frustrations on other therapists and modalities
that they said “didn’t work,”
It was easy to find the reason why.
1) They were vague with their outcomes from the beginning,
which wasn’t their fault. It’s important to have guides that can extract
specific outcomes for you to create. I know you don’t want to be there
week after week repeating the same victim story not moving forward.
You don’t want to be paying someone just to validate you.
2) They put all the focus on the doctor/practitioner/program to “heal,”
instead of realizing that nobody is coming to rescue them, and it’s THEM
that does the healing. After 20 years of being a chiropractor one thing is clear:
Our role as practitioners are merely GUIDES to help you BECOME YOUR OWN MEDICINE.
To awaken the healer within yourself.
3) They weren’t walking the path with a guide who has actually DONE THE WORK they are teaching.
A counselling diploma or a Phd doesn’t mean you’re an expert in creating secure relationships.
Is the person who’s guiding you— have they walked their talk?
Have they been through toxic relationships— and are they teaching from their scars?Have they integrated their shadows?
If you can keep that in mind,
and are committed to the path,
willing to show up and ask questions,
share your feelings,
and lean into the discomfort that change requires of all of us,
there’s no reason why
once you find the right guide and community,
you WON'T be able to look back several years from now
and be so proud of who you have become.
“It” won’t work for you— you will work for you.
And you’ll LOVE the outcomes:
Relationships where you’re able to express your authentic truth,
where love is received just as freely as it is given,
where there is magnetism and inspiration,
where you have each other’s backs,
and you can repair from ruptures quickly,
and are able to regulate your emotions,
because your resiliency and capacity have expanded.
Get clear on who you’re committed to becoming.
Find a structure and plan to reverse engineer,
master the skills you’re deficient in,
and find a guide to help you with your blind spots.
Do that, and “it” won’t have to work for you,
because YOU are the one who will.
Your wingman on the adventure,
P.S. If you’re ready to learn the distinction
of how our cyclebreakers are trained vs
traditional therapies and modalities that keep
people stuck in a loop without the deeper somatic-focus,
accountability, and outcome-focussed training,
I’m taking 10 people who are stuck in insecure
relationship push-pull dynamics and teaching them
the exact pathway to becoming Trigger-Proof:
How to break free from Trauma Bonds,
heal codependency, and create Secure love.
I’m pulling back the curtain and showing people
who think they have “done the work” the two skills
they realize they have never been taught:
1) How to turn triggers into deeper self worth,
2) How to transform conflict into deeper intimacy
so that you’re even CLOSER after the argument
than you were before.
These are the skills that took me from Insecure Avoidant
to secure and attracted an aligned partner who is 100% all in
with co-creating a secure relationship with polarity.
The first 5 who sign up receive a 1-1 integration session
to help implement the skills taught at the Overview Experience.
Saturday Jan 20th 12 noon PST - 6pm PST (3-9pm EST).
Sunday the 21st 7am-1pm Sydney time.