How to Tell if You’re Being a Victim

Written by Nima Rahmany

On December 8, 2016

How to Tell if You’re Being a Victim

by | Personal Growth

When I’m working with people struggling with stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and depression – I have a policy that I don’t work with “victims.”
Let me explain.

When something distressing or traumatic happens, the shock and tragedy requires you to be surrounded by support.

I’ve been there.  

There’s nothing more comforting when you’re depressed than to have someone validate your feelings.

But everything has two sides.

The drawback of support – be it financial, emotional, or physical is that it creates a dependency.

And it keeps you stuck.  

You’re comfortable and feeling supported, but if the story persists, you can fall into a trap.

Your growth is stunted, your progress is paralyzed.

It takes effort, determination, and resilience to create, build, maintain, and expand a magnificent life. But yes, there’s pushing past your fear, there are setbacks, heartaches, and loss.  

This is not for the faint of heart.

What I’ve observed is that when the events of life sideline us, and if we stay stuck in a persistent complaint from that event…
You get support….  But you won’t get growth and expansion.

You can’t have both.

So how can you tell if you’re stuck in a victim story?
This may be a huge blind spot for you – you might be resistant.

But I encourage you to ask yourself:
What do I complain to others most about?
What do I love to bitch about most when I meet people?

Is it about my horror stories “look how difficult my life is?”
Is it a persistent complaint?

What language do you use to describe your life?
Is it empowering?  
Is it touching and inspiring to others?

Or do your conversations revolve around your woes?
Do you talk about and blame your diagnosis endlessly?

Lastly, if you were to ask your friends and family, and they were to answer you honestly – what do you think they would say if you asked them: “Do you think I’m a victim to my story?”

Think about that for a minute.  

Their answer might surprise you.  And it’s something you might need to take a look at.

Every week I have people apply to work with me to help combat stress, overwhelm, anxiety and depression – and I can identify almost immediately those who will do well – and those that won’t.

Within a 30 minute call I can almost guarantee results with some, and guarantee others won’t achieve their desired results. This is precisely why I don’t work with everyone who inquires.

What you can do:
Decide what’s not working – and ask “What is this issue COSTING me in my life right now?”

If the cost of keeping the issue doesn’t exceed the benefits (support) you’re getting, then it’s likely your situation won’t change.
Either quit your complaining – or actually step up and take ACTION.

I can say “I dare you”…but when you look at what’s at stake if you don’t, the choice is easy for those who want to create something meaningful in their one and only shot at life.

Depression. Anxiety.  Overwhelm.  Chaos.  
Looking around and seeing everyone else living – but you, using “that thing” as an excuse to not truly live – expecting someone to come and rescue you.

It just doesn’t work that way.  
The road to a fulfilling life is reserved for those willing to abandon their stories, and take massive action through their fears.

What’s holding you back right now from taking action?
I say this with absolute love – speaking to the highest version of you:
Victims need not apply.

Want to have a conversation about helping you get clear and connected back in your power, outside of the fog and overwhelm of the holidays, or a persistent life situation? Click HERE and tell me what you’re committed to achieving for yourself over the next few months.

Here for you,
Dr. Nima


  1. Aivin Morales

    Depression. Anxiety. Overwhelm. Chaos.
    Looking around and seeing everyone else living – but you, using “that thing” as an excuse to not truly live – expecting someone to come and rescue you.
    This is my story and this is why I chose to work with Dr. Nima. I cant turn the movie off by itself. I need help but I am not afraid to let go and face what I fear the most, loneliness.

  2. Barbara Hardison

    Im so lost in my life? My Husband and I have been married for 20years now and a couple of years ago he stopped telling me he loves me because he don’t know how or what he feels about me. He just doesn’t love me any more I’m so sad all the time I just want my husband back what happend…To him he says he cares about me but no thanks I want him to say he loves me I care about my Neiboghor to but I don’t love my neighbor? So what do I do now?


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