I want to introduce you to Denise.
Maybe you can relate to her story.
"I am in a relationship that I am unhappy in,
my partner doesn't even like me, let alone love me.
He is always looking for something else,
someone else, someone better,
someone who will worship him and tolerate his poor behaviour and disrespect.
He makes me feel so small and insignificant.
I feel so confused.
Do I want to be with him?
Do I want to be alone?
Do I want to be with someone else?
Do I hate him?
Do I hate myself?
Am I just wanting to run away from my problems?
Am I staying because I am afraid of what people will think?
That I will disappoint them?
Am I staying because I am ashamed to ask for help?
Am I staying because I don't know what I will do?
Where I will live?
I do love him. Or am I just used to him?
I don't even know who I am or what I want anymore.
I feel so sad, as if I am grieving for something that could have existed.
Then I am angry, I just want to be in a happy, healthy and secure relationship.
Where I feel safe and valued and respected.
I feel as if I am always competing against someone else for what I want and deserve.
It reminds me of when I was with someone else, who was consistency inconsistent.
Who I lost myself to,
who I abandoned myself completely with,
and who betrayed me completely.
I do not feel I deserve happiness.
I am never good enough, despite how much I do for someone.
I am scared I am going to end up alone and lonely.
Or worse? In a toxic relationship and miserable,
while pretending to the world that everything is perfect.
Not feeling fulfilled. Not feeling safe and respected.
Why are relationships so hard?”
—
You might not have had the exact same experience as Denise,
but I’m willing to bet there are elements to her story that you can relate to.
Now in her 40’s, this is how she experienced relationships happening in her life.
She was a high achiever at work.
Took lots of communication and leadership courses.
A TON of talk therapy.
She definitely wasn’t lacking in intelligence.
When Denise attended the Overview Experience over 2 months ago,
she was taken back in time where she was in a reality growing up
where she was constantly competing with her
mother and sister for her father’s attention—
always feeling like she was falling short… alone and unwanted.
Can you see the pattern?
A Trauma Bond is like that:
It’s an intense pull towards a familiar pattern in childhood,
as an attempt to complete what was incomplete.
SAME AS I DID.
Denise’s relationships were all trauma bonds— just like mine.
SAME PATTERN.
Same lack of boundaries.
Same experience of “chasing”, “never good enough”.
It was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized
what was happening in my life.
That it wasn’t my fault.
I wasn’t broken.
Both heartbreaking and relieving.
I turned “hope” into commitment and got to work.
Because once you get to the root of it,
you are able to create a protective boundary around your energy.
Your self worth expands and your deserving level does too.
because you no longer are trying to use romantic partners
to fix what was broken in childhood.
Today I have a beautiful family I never thought I would have.
And I left Chiropractic to teach those willing to learn
That there IS a path to getting relationships that are mutual
secure, and nourishing.
That even though you might have been conditioned
to have relationships constantly feel “hard” or
to think you don’t deserve fulfillment….
I’m here to tell you that you DO.
YOU DESERVE IT.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
P.S. If this message resonates with you,
and you think you have tried everything—therapy,
communication courses, and countless self-help books.
Yet, finding yourself stuck in the same painful patterns—
consider you’re one blind spot revelation away from making a MASSIVE shift.
If you can stomach a painful revelation that takes the focus off the OTHER
person, and you’re open to feedback, If there are spaces remaining,
I’m offering a free Blind Spot Session to help you uncover a missing piece in your journey.
Here’s how to qualify for that Blind Spot Session:
1- Comment below and give me your back story. Tell me what’s happened in your dynamic.
2- Tell me what you have tried, books, courses, therapies.. What’s worked, and what hasn’t.
3- What work you do— and how this dynamic is impacting your work
4- finish the back story with “Nima- can I get your private calendar link?”
If you are able to get all 4 — and I think I can help— I’ll send you the link.
Back Story: I am trying to give the details of how I perceive things both then and in hindsight, I dont inherrently mean she is to blame for what I describe, I am simply putting the story on the paper and when my side has been said I am very open to deepdiving into it openly. I dont know exactly what is relevant and not so I want to just presnet it without trying to please what I may perceive as your desired form. Grew up with a busy distant father with two brothers. strong family around us and I… Read more »