Last week, I had a conversation with Sue.
She was 61 years old,
married for 37 years,
and stuck in a relationship
that felt more like a prison than a partnership.
Her words stayed with me:
“I’ve never lived by myself.
I went straight from my parents’ house to my husband’s.
I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
The weight of those words wasn’t just about
the fear of leaving her marriage.
It was about the fear of leaving herself.
Sue was frozen—
stuck in the loop of waiting for her husband to change,
waiting for the right moment, waiting for permission.
But the truth she couldn’t face was this:
Her fear wasn’t about her husband.
It wasn’t even about the marriage.
Her fear was about discovering who Sue really was
outside of the roles she’d played her entire life.
For years, she’d abandoned herself.
She’d numbed her pain by staying busy, doing everything for everyone else—
her kids, her grandchildren—
while telling herself that was enough.
But deep down, she knew:
It wasn’t enough.
You may not be in the exact same place in your life as Sue,
but I ask you this:
Can you see yourself in Sue?
When I asked her what she truly wanted,
she went silent.
“I don’t even know,”
she whispered, her voice trembling.
“No one’s ever asked me that.”
That silence was the sound
of a lifetime of self-abandonment.
The fear of change had kept her stuck for so long
that even imagining a different future felt impossible.
The little girl inside her had learned long ago to stay quiet,
stay small, stay safe.
But here’s what broke my heart the most:
Sue’s fear wasn’t unique.
I see it every day on my blind spot calls,
and at the Overview Experience virtual retreat.
It’s the fear that stops so many of us
from stepping into the life we deserve.
The fear that says:
• “What if I fail?”
• “What if I hurt the people I love?”
• “What if I’m not enough?”
But here’s the thing about fear:
It only wins if you let it.
Sue’s story isn’t over.
She’s at a choice point,
just like you might be right now.
She can stay in the familiar, even if it’s painful.
Or she can step into the unknown
and discover what’s possible on the other side of fear.
Because the truth is this:
You don’t find yourself by waiting.
AND YOU’RE ON BORROWED TIME.
You find yourself by taking the first step,
no matter how scared you feel.
If you’ve ever felt like Sue—
trapped, uncertain,
afraid of what change might bring—
know this:
You’re not alone.
And you’re not stuck forever.
The reality you want IS possible.
It’s waiting for you to say, “I’m ready.”
The question is:
Will you let fear keep you frozen?
Or will you take the first step toward freedom?
Remember this:
When palliative care nurses asked patients
nearing the end of their lives what they regretted most,
the number one regret was this:
"I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself,
not the life others expected of me."
Life is fleeting.
The clock is ticking.
The only thing standing between you
and the life you truly want is the decision to begin.
So, ask yourself:
When the time comes, will you look back and say,
*"I’m glad I had the courage to choose me"?
Because if not now… when?
Your wingman on this journey,
Nima
