It’s Very Subtle

Tell me if you’ve experienced this:
A situation in your relationship
where the emotional tension feels suffocating.

Your partner is upset, withdrawing, or breaking down—
and you’re scrambling to “fix it.”

You try to say the right things they taught you
in masculine/feminine communication courses

It doesn’t work.

So you try even harder.

You bend over backward,
walking on eggshells to avoid making things worse.

But instead of diffusing the tension, it grows.
They shut down, lash out, or spiral deeper, and you’re left wondering:

What the hell am I doing wrong?

The harder you try to help,
the more “prickly" they become,
the more disconnected you feel.

You can’t sleep,
your chest feels heavy,
and your mind races with what-ifs.

What if this never gets better?
What if they leave?
What if I’m just not enough?

This cycle eats away at your peace of mind,
erodes your confidence,
and leaves you feeling powerless.

Here’s the thing that isn’t discussed with
mastering love languages or talk therapy:

the more you try to “fix" their emotions,
the more you lose yourself.
And that’s where the real damage begins.

You’re not connecting; you’re ORIENTING.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN *WITNESSING*
AND *ORIENTING*

• Orienting means losing yourself in their emotions.
  It’s classic codependency and enmeshment.

You overanalyze, take responsibility for their pain,
and feel consumed by their turmoil.

• Witnessing means staying grounded in yourself
  while holding space for them.

You see them without being swallowed by their storm.

When you ORIENT, you unknowingly:

• Absorb their emotions as your own,
  carrying their stress, anger, or sadness like it’s your burden to fix.

• Neglect your own needs,
  believing THEIR peace is more important than yours.
• React impulsively,
  escalating the conflict or creating more distance.

Over time, this pattern wreaks havoc on your relationships,
eroding the polarity in the dynamic
(and your self worth in the process).

• You start to feel resentful and exhausted,
  constantly walking a tightrope.

• They feel smothered or unseen
  because your efforts to help aren’t what they truly need.
• Connection turns into a cycle of tension,
  blame, and misunderstanding.

This dynamic, left unchecked,
can unravel even the strongest bonds.

It’s unsustainable.
Some people spend decades in this cycle of doom.

If you can relate to this, the first step is to acknowledge
that It’s not your fault.

No one likely taught you the difference between
orienting and witnessing in those videos,
therapy sessions, and polarity courses you took.

No one showed you how to regulate yourself
in the face of someone else’s storm.

What to do if you find this too relatable:

It starts with understanding this:
When you learn how to witness instead of orient,
you shift the entire dynamic.

This is what it means to become Trigger-Proof.

You become a steady presence,
not a sponge for their emotions.

You create space for their healing
without sacrificing your own peace.

And you break free from the exhausting
push-pull cycle that’s been running your life.

Imagine this:

• The next time they lash out or withdraw,
  you stay grounded instead of spiraling.

• You respond with clarity, calm, and compassion,
  instead of reacting impulsively.
• They feel safe and seen—not because you fixed them,
  but because you showed up as a stable, secure presence.

This isn’t just about improving your relationship—
it’s about reclaiming yourself.

When you learn this skill, everything changes.

• You stop reacting to life on autopilot and start living with intention.
• You create relationships rooted in trust and understanding,
  free from the chaos of past patterns.
• And you discover a deep, unshakable peace—
  the kind that allows you to stand firm, even in the face of someone else’s storm.

This isn’t about fixing people or relationships;
it’s about reclaiming your freedom.

Freedom to choose your responses,
to live in alignment with your values,
and to connect from a place of security instead of fear.

This is what being Trigger-Proof gives you.

Witnessing is more than a skill—
it’s the key to becoming the calm in the storm.

And the first step is Awareness.

Ask yourself:

• Where have I been orienting toward someone else’s emotions
  instead of standing rooted in my own?
• What would it feel like to hold space for them
  while staying fully present with myself?

It’s in these moments of self-honesty that transformation begins.

And when you learn to *witness* instead of *orient*,
you create the kind of ripple that doesn’t just change your life—
it inspires everyone around you.

This was the missing piece for me,
in all the healing work I’ve done,
which is why it’s so meaningful for me to share it with others.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima