Avoidance (Somatic Exercise)

A woman with adult children who aren’t speaking to her
who’s stuck in a trauma bonded relationship she’s unfulfilled in,
but can’t seem to let go of,
just cancelled her Blind Spot session with me
citing “Exhaustion and Avoidance”.

It’s both heartbreaking and telling when someone,
seeking help to escape their stuckness,
becomes stuck in the very pattern they need help breaking.

It’s like calling a cleaning company to tackle your messy house,
but canceling because you’re too embarrassed
about the mess they were hired to clean.

It’s like saying you feel too fat to go to the gym,
or you’re too much of a sh*tty dancer
to be taking dance lessons.

Let me break it down for you, Firstname.

The holiday season has a way of sneaking up on us.
Amid the decorations, gatherings,
and family traditions,
there’s a silent undertone:

Reflection.

You start to see the cracks—
the ways your relational world has grown smaller,
your emotional world more numb,
and the same patterns replaying, year after year.

This is the season where the mirror of time stares back at us:
How am I spending the time I have left?
Am I living the life I want, or simply surviving it— numb?

For you, the answers may be wrapped in exhaustion and avoidance,
a protective armor you’ve worn for years.

But what’s that armor costing you now?

And here’s what’s fascinating:

AVOIDANCE ISN’T LAZINESS: IT’S PROTECTION.

Your exhaustion?
It’s not just physical.
It’s the toll of years spent disconnecting from yourself.

Why does this happen?

As a child, you may have learned to survive
by shutting down.

Anger wasn’t safe.
Feeling wasn’t safe.
Speaking wasn’t safe.

That survival mechanism served you then—
but now it keeps you stuck, and pushes away true intimacy.

And during the holidays, it’s magnified:

You feel more isolated, more disconnected,
more like life is slipping by.

But it doesn’t have to stay this way.

ONE STEP YOU CAN TAKE TODAY:

Right now, pause for a moment and try this:

This small practice helps you gently reconnect with yourself.
It creates a space where safety, rather than avoidance,
begins to lead.

Use this pause right now to reflect on the impact
your disconnection has had on what matters most.

(It’s humbling— so let yourself feel whatever arises).

Why This Matters Now:

This isn’t just about getting through the holiday season.
It’s about using this time of reflection to decide:

Am I going to keep shrinking into my old patterns?

Or am I ready to expand into the life
and relationships I truly want?

Do I want to live the 2nd half of the journey
NEVER experiencing safe connection?

Am I ready to learn what was never taught to me?

Reality Check:

Your relational world will keep getting smaller,
your connections more shallow,
unless you choose to break the cycle
that wasn’t yours to begin with.

But the courage to change is nothing
compared to the regret of staying stuck.

The most valuable gift you can give yourself this season
isn’t wrapped under a tree.

It’s the decision to stop avoiding your pain,
to meet yourself fully,
and to start living the life you were always worthy of.

A life of DESIGN— not of DUTY.

Because when you stop avoiding yourself,
the world stops avoiding you too.

With warmth and unwavering belief in your power to break the cycle,
Nima