Travelling and meeting successful people who can crush it at work
but still fall into disappointing relationship patterns–
something became painfully clear.
Many high achievers I speak to unconsciously
get into relationships expecting their partners
to resolve their self-worth issues
or fill those emotional gaps they’ve been using success to hide.
That “not good enough” wound that can’t be seen
when they are on stage performing.
That fairy tale we hoping for It’s often just a projected fantasy,
and when reality hits —
boom —
The disappointment kicks in,
like a kid who just realized Santa doesn’t exist.
Here’s the thing:
at some point, usually midlife,
when we’ve been humbled by life circumstances,
we get summoned to a wake-up call.
The task becomes to realize
that it’s not about blaming the other person anymore.
It’s about taking ownership of how we show up,
our reactions to our triggers that are happening within us.
Emotional triggers aren’t personal attacks.
They’re signals.
Doorways to level up your self-awareness
instead of falling back into blame.
The ability to distinguish being “harmed”
and being “triggered”.
A big piece I love to teach:
How to expand that space between stimulus and response.
What we do in that gap
is how we can become “trigger proof.”
Whether we reflexively fight, run, or hide
determines the quality of our relationships and leadership.
Also, watch out for the fawn response —
that people-pleasing trap
where you ignore your own needs just to “keep the peace.”
That one will sneak up on you if you’re not careful,
building up a wall of resentment over time.
When you develop the skill of spotting old wounds
getting poked by current relationships,
it becomes an invitation to pause and choose differently.
At the end of the day,
it’s not about finding a perfect partner to save us.
It’s about using relationships as mirrors to grow
into someone more emotionally solid.
This is the secret of secure attachment:
Trusting yourself speak your truth,
because you know you’re able to repair
in moments when it matters the most.
Because success doesn’t mean
sacrificing intimacy.
If you’ve been strong with one,
and challenged with another,
You’re not alone.
The good news is that you can become Trigger-Proof
in love, and leadership together.
Your fulfillment depends on it.
Your wingman on the journey,
Nima
