Loop of Doom

See if you can relate:

Step 1: A Trigger Sets Off the Cycle

One partner feels emotionally unmet—

rooted in fears of abandonment or rejection.

• The Pursuer reacts by criticizing,
  demanding, or pushing for connection.
• The Withdrawer feels overwhelmed and retreats,
  avoiding conflict.

Step 2: Reactivity Builds

The pursuer’s heightened anxiety and demands

The cycle spirals:

• The Anxious Pursuer: “Why don’t you care about me?”
  → Gets louder, angrier, more desperate.
• The Avoidant Withdrawer: “I can’t deal with this.”
  → Pulls away further.

This loop of doom is INFINITE

If nothing shifts, you’ll go to step 3.

Step 3: Both Partners Stay in the Loop

Here’s the kicker:

• The Pursuer feels increasingly rejected and alone.
• The Withdrawer feels suffocated and unworthy,
  “not good enough” is all they hear and see.

Underneath the surface,

(Pretty crazy isn’t it).

But their unresolved triggers

is helpful— but doesn’t shift it in real time.

Without addressing this pattern at it’s ROOT:

Both partners feel trapped, powerless, and hopeless.

Here’s the hard truth:

or waiting for your partner to change.

To break the cycle, you must:

LUCKILY, there’s an off ramp to this infinite loop.

Imagine a relationship where:

• Arguments don’t spiral out of control—
  they turn into moments of repair and connection.
• You no longer chase or avoid each other—
  you meet each other in the middle.
• You feel calm, grounded, and secure in your own skin,
  regardless of your partner’s moods.
• Your home becomes a sanctuary, not a battlefield.

Breaking free from the infinite loop of doom