Push and Pull (Here’s Why)

Michael wasn’t new to relationships,
but this one was different.

It had all the highs and lows of a Hollywood romance.

The chemistry was explosive.
The connection was unmatched.
The sex was off the charts….

And the emotional pain was unbearable.

One moment, they were inseparable—
talking for hours, planning their future,
feeling like they’d found “the one.”

The next, his partner would shut down,
pull away,
and leave him wondering what he’d done wrong.

So, Michael did what many people in his position do:

He chased.

He texted.
He called.
He over-explained.
He apologized for things that weren’t even his fault.

Anything to bring her back to him.

And just when he thought he’d lost her,
she'd return.

A loving text.
A heartfelt apology.
A promise that things would be different.

It would work—for a while.

But the space between the “highs” and the “lows” kept shrinking,
and the cycle always started again.

Michael didn’t realize he was caught in the anxious/avoidant dance—
a painful push/pull dynamic
fueled by two nervous systems stuck in survival mode.

Here’s how it works:

• The anxious partner (Michael):
  Fears abandonment and seeks closeness as reassurance.
  When their partner pulls away, it feels like rejection,
  triggering a fight-or-flight response to “fix” the connection.
• The avoidant partner (his partner):
  Fears being smothered or losing independence.
  When things feel too intense, they shut down to protect themselves.

It’s a feedback loop—
each person’s reaction triggers the other’s deepest fears.

Michael’s chasing made his partner feel suffocated.

His partner’s pulling away made him feel unworthy
and desperate for closeness.

NEITHER OF THEM REALIZED
THEY WERE ACTING OUT THEIR CHILDHOOD WOUNDING.

Here’s what Michael didn’t see:

This wasn’t about love.

It was about old, unresolved patterns
playing out in real time.

For Michael, the need to chase came from growing up with a distant mother
who always seemed just out of reach.

He learned that closeness wasn’t freely given—
it had to be earned, fought for.

For his partner, the need to pull away came from a childhood
where intimacy felt like a trap—
a place where she lost her sense of self.

Together, they were mirrors for each other’s deepest insecurities.

If Michael didn’t address this pattern,
he’d stay trapped in relationships that felt more like emotional battlefields
than places of connection and safety.

• He’d spend his life chasing validation,
  wondering why he was “too much” for love.
• He’d attract partners who reinforced the story
  that he wasn’t worthy of being chosen.
• And eventually, he’d lose himself in the process,
  burned out from the constant highs and lows.

The good news is, Michael’s story doesn’t have to be yours.

When you learn to heal the wounds behind the push/pull dynamic,
and master becoming Trigger-Proof,
everything changes:

• You stop chasing love and start choosing yourself.
• You attract partners who feel safe, secure, and aligned.
• You break free from the exhausting rollercoaster of chaos,
  discovering peace, connection, and love you can trust.

When Michael came to me, he was at his breaking point.
He realized he couldn’t keep waiting for his partner to change,
and he was determined not to carry this pattern into his next relationship.

What happened next wasn’t magic—
it was a decision.

It began with a single Blind Spot Intuitive Session,
where Michael started to uncover the truth behind his patterns.

He learned how to:

• Recognize and disarm the triggers driving his anxiety.
• Regulate his nervous system so he could stop chasing and start responding.
• Build boundaries that didn’t push love away but invited it closer.

Fast forward to today:
He’s in a relationship where he feels grounded, confident, and deeply seen.

And this Christmas, as we caught up, he told me something cool:

“I’m getting her ring size.”

For the first time in his life, Michael feels like he’s home—
both in his body and in his relationship.

It didn’t happen by chance.
It wasn’t luck.

It happened because Michael decided to become the man
he was always capable of being.

And you can become that man/woman too.

Because here’s what’s fascinating to me:

It’s not about how much you WANT love, healing, or change.

It’s about what no one ever taught us—
how to develop the SKILLS that make it possible.

When I learned those skills, and I co-created my relationship with Diana,
I wanted everyone to know that
we ALL have everything we need to create the love story we deserve.

We just need someone to help us see what’s already inside.

With unwavering belief in your potential,

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima