We all are wanting to create homes where it feels like a sanctuary to be there.
Where relationships feel nourishing.
It wasn’t until my last one ended, and I was all alone at the age of 43,
living with my dog, looking in the mirror…
I felt called to finally face the darkness within myself I was avoiding.
My relationships were always based on my fear of being alone.
And the person I chose to stay with— and felt energetically stuck to—
like I KNEW it wasn’t healthy— but I just COULDN’T leave.
I was too scared.
Then it hit me.
I was there at Christmas time— all alone— afraid of dying alone,
never having experienced love that was mutual
and nourishing— being in a home with someone I felt calm with.
It was always tense. There was this inherent anxiety in seeing her.
We get into relationships for love.
Why does it feel like a prison?
Fast forward to today.
180 degrees difference.
I’m not saying it was easy, but there were a few questions I started with,
that if you can relate to what I just shared—
that helped me get out of my victim story and
CREATE my own path.
That’s essentially what it will take.
The courage to be willing to look iNSIDE.
!) Where do I want to be by this time next year?
(comment below and let me know the answer if you want. I read all comments)
2) What has caused me to be disconnected from love and deserving for MYSELF?
In other words, “What parts of me have me showing up feeling like I don’t deserve mutual safe love?”
I was always suspecting that my anger and hurts from how I felt about my parents
were at play within my relationships. That my childhood wounding had something to do with it.
I just thought I had dealt with it already.
“Forgive and Forget”.
“It’s all in the past."
You’ll notice when you take an honest look like I did,
that our unresolved woundings from the past aren’t something we can forget.
These wounds are stored IN THE BODY.
If you’ve ever wondered why talk therapy hasn’t been getting to the root cause,
just realize your suspicions have been correct.
Unless the body is involved, we are on a hamster wheel living in Groundhog Day.
I discovered, when I finally had the courage to find the right guidance,
to be willing to have all my stories be confronted in a loving way,
to have the right feedback…
I finally was able to heal my attachment wounds playing out in my relationships,
and I now have a relationship that feels like a sanctuary.
I’m able to lead my family.
And when arguments and ruptures happen,
it’s not the end of the world.
There’s a confidence to repair,
because I took the time to place a high value
on the most important education I never received but craved:
How to have a secure relationship.
My invitation is for you to ask yourself these questions,
and comment below and let me know what you come up with.
I’m always here to support and challenge you into fully loving all parts of you,
so you can create relationships that reflect that love back to you,
And children and families are raised in homes as a “fortress for well-being”
instead of a toxic mess they want to run far away from.
What’s more important than that?
See you at the next perfect time.