If you have lived a life
feeling like you needed to wear a mask
and play a role of “Pleasing others”
in order to get your needs met,
just know that you’re not alone.
“Fawning” is a Trauma response that many
I’ve spoken to didn’t even realize they were doing,
because they fawn AS A LIFESTYLE.
Fawning is akin to “people pleasing.”
Altering my truth, my expression in front of you
because I’m terrified of upsetting you
or having me be perceived by you as “bad.”
Fawning isn’t just being a “nice guy” or “good girl,”
or being overly flirtatious and flattering.
It’s also suppressing my truth in fear of your reaction.
“I can’t tell you how I really feel because I don’t want to upset you."
We learn this as a survival strategy in childhood
and we don’t even know it.
It’s like being born into a fishbowl of dirty water.
You don’t know it’s dirty, you think it’s just normal.
Same with fawning.
“I didn’t know I was fawning
because I thought it’s being kind or having manners.”
There’s a distinction between kindness and fawning.
Kindness feels like an opening in the body.
Fawning has a felt sense experience
And it always results in one thing: Resentment.
Make no mistake: Fawning is a form of self abandonment.
You can’t fawn without resenting yourself.
Then you will project it on others.
It’s smiling when you’re hurting inside.
It’s saying “I’m fine” when I’m not.
It’s the main reason why so many of us lie.
Truth is, we are lying to ourselves,
and that gets EXHAUSTING.
Without getting to the root cause and healing it,
we are run by resentment,
we feel chronically tired and sore,
auto-immune symptoms flare up,
all because of the impact of abandoning ourselves.
To truly heal from this flavor of trauma response,
we must be willing to go deeper than just talk therapy.
We must focus on a body-based approach,
and deepen our relationship with the body,
and the way it’s constantly speaking to us.
To be able to read the signals
of how it feels when we are speaking the truth,
and how it feels when we are just performing.
Hint: We are performing MOST of the time.
This is why I left my Chiropractic practice:
Chronic health issues from unresolved trauma responses.
And it’s been a hot topic in our community,
because with holidays and family get togethers behind us,
“tis the season” of fawning.
This is exactly why I will be tackling this issue head on
in my Cyclebreakers community this upcoming week.
I’m extending an invitation to you if this resonates.
It’s for you if you crave healthy, secure relationships,
and want to feel safe and secure in your own body,
living from a place of self expression,
creating relationships where others are treating you authentically.
It’s for you if you are ready to break the cycle of intergenerational
fawning so you can show your kids how to find their truth as well.
It’s for you if you are ready to lead with intuition instead of
your trauma responses (and be able to understand the difference).
On Friday January 12 I’m hosting a 3 hour masterclass called
“From People Pleasing to Powerful: How to stop fawning and start flourishing”
from 4-7pm PST (That’s 7-10pm EST
and that’s 11am -2pm sydney time on Saturday the 13th.)
There, we will discuss exactly what constitutes as fawning,
Overt and covert ways we fawn so you can recognize when its happening,
and exactly how to go from people pleasing fawner to authentic and confident
so that you can show up with self-worth in relationships.
It’s not your fault, but it IS your responsibility to break the cycle.
It’s time to finally learn how to break free from that fish bowl into your own aquarium.