Where Our Dysfunctional Relationship With Emotions Begins

Written By Dr. Nima

On January 17, 2025
Thumbnail - Where Our Dysfunctional Relationship With Emotions Begin
Parents who admit to already having 
a dysfunctional relationship with their own emotions,
have been asking me about their challenges with their children.
This led me to want to bring something to your attention 
if you’re a parent who cares about raising healthy 
and resilient children.
 
When your child comes to you with tears in their eyes, 

do you find yourself saying, “You’re fine, don’t cry”?

When they act out, 

do you catch yourself losing patience—or even control?

When they’re scared or angry, 

do you struggle to just sit with them without trying to fix it?

These are the moments that define their inner world.

Without knowing it, 

most of us have been conditioned to create a dysfunctional relationship
with our own emotions— and are passing it down to our kids.
 

Look in the past few months at the space within your home.
Is your home a space of safety, or is it more like a battlefield?

It’s not intentional. 

No parent wants this.

But when we are reactive from our own unhealed wounds, 

the home becomes a place of tension, 

disconnection, and unpredictable emotions.

And kids-- They absorb it. 

Every bit of it.

What happens when kids grow up in homes without emotional safety?

They learn to doubt themselves, 

just like we do.
  • Anxiety: 
    They start FEARING their emotions because no one taught them how to handle fear.
  • Self-doubt: They question their worth because they never felt truly seen or valued.
  • Emotional suppression: They hide their feelings because they see us doing the same—
  • or worse, because we told them to.
And they grow up with beliefs like
  • “I’m too much.”
  • “If I cry, I’m weak.”
  • “My feelings are a burden.”
  • “To be loved, I have to be perfect.”
These aren’t just thoughts—they become identities.
If you can relate to them, and haven’t sorted them out,

chances are you’re unknowingly passing it down to the next generation.

Generations of us were raised on dismissive parenting practices.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“You’re fine. Don’t be so dramatic.”
“That’s nothing to be scared of.”

“STOP BEING SO ANGRY."
We were taught—directly or indirectly—
that emotions are problems to fix, not experiences to feel.
 
Zero tolerance for frustration, sadness, or fear,
so we try to protect them from it— unknowingly setting them up to be 
fragile, with no self worth or self trust.
 
Can you relate to feeling this way with the same challenges?
And now, despite our best intentions, 

we’re unconsciously teaching our kids the same thing.

We model it in the way we suppress our sadness or numb our anger.
We react to their big emotions 

because we’ve never learned how to handle our own.

We perpetuate the belief that emotions make us weak.

And it’s no wonder:
We didn’t learn how to become Trigger-Proof.

Now, add this to the mix:
Kids today are being raised on screens 

that hijack their nervous systems with endless dopamine.

TikTok. Instagram. YouTube.
They’re overstimulated, emotionally dysregulated, 

and starving for connection.

If we, as parents, aren’t regulated ourselves, 

we can’t create the safety they need to navigate this world.
And without safety, kids are left to fend for themselves in a storm of self-doubt, 

anxiety, and disconnection.

It’s not hereditary—it’s conditioning.

The Opportunity:

The greatest gift you can give your child is a self-loving parent.

(Read that again).

When you heal your own attachment wounds, you break the cycle.
When you learn how to regulate your nervous system, 

your kids feel safer with you. Their truth becomes safer with you,
so their connection with themselves (and you) becomes stronger.
When you create safety in your own emotions, 

you create safety in your home.

This isn’t about being a perfect parent.
It’s about becoming the parent your child needs—

a regulated, compassionate, and present one.

Imagine raising kids who:

  • Trust their emotions instead of fearing them.
  • Know their worth without questioning it.
  • Feel safe to express themselves without shame.
  • Grow up with a secure identity, unburdened by trauma.
That’s what happens when you take the time to heal.

When you step into this work, everything changes.

  •  You stop reacting and start responding.
  • You create relationships that thrive on connection instead of chaos.
  • You model self-worth, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
This work isn’t just for your kids—it’s for you.

Because you deserve to live in a home that feels like a sanctuary, 

not a battlefield.

And you have the power to make it happen.

Your wingman on the adventure.

Nima
P.S. If this message resonates, and you’re ready to break the cycle 
and create a home where your children feel safe, 

secure, and seen, let’s talk.

A Blind Spot Call is a 30-minute session designed to help you:

  • Identify how your childhood conditioning is affecting your parenting.
  • Understand why your reactions are impacting your home dynamic—
    and how to shift them.
  • Gain clarity on how to break the cycle of reactivity 
    and create a family environment rooted in connection.
 

Normally $497, this session is FREE for those who qualify.

Here’s what to do next:

 
  • Comment or DM with your story—what’s your biggest challenge as a parent right now?
  • Share what you’ve already tried and what you’d love to create for your family.
  • End your response with: “Nima, can I have your private calendar link?”
 

This could be the moment you stop reacting 

and start leading your family into a brighter, more secure home

they can model themselves after.

Your guide on the side,
Nima

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