“I never feel seen,” she told me.
Sound familiar?
For Denise, people-pleasing wasn’t just a habit—
it was second nature.
“It’s like I’ve been wearing this mask since I was a kid.
It’s so ingrained, I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time.”
She said “yes” when her body screamed “no,”
and it left her feeling resentful, exhausted, and unseen.
When you live like this, the pain starts stacking up slowly.
Denise's days were a constant juggling act—
afraid of being seen as difficult or disappointing.
At work, it made her a leader who was burning out.
At home, it made her someone who couldn’t connect.
“I’d get home and the mask didn’t come off,”
But how could he see me when I wasn’t showing him the real me?”
And it wasn’t just about him.
Her unspoken anger showed up everywhere:
“I think it’s cost me, like, honestly, a lot of freedom and happiness and…
living authentically,” she said quietly.
The "Loop of Doom" for Denise was crystal clear:
The pain wasn’t just emotional.
Her partner, who genuinely wanted to connect,
both of them spiraling into defensiveness and distance.
And then there were the deeper fears—the ones she hadn’t even voiced yet:
She was exhausted. Angry. Lonely.
And worst of all, ashamed.
“As I get older, I can see that it’s not serving me anymore.
But I don’t know how to get out of it because it feels so… natural,” she confessed.
There’s good news to this : it doesn’t have to stay this way.
When you commit to breaking the Loop of Doom by becoming Trigger-Proof:
Denise imagined this possibility for herself:
“I’d be able to set boundaries and share what I’m actually thinking—
it was suffocating her.
Once she dropped it, her partner began to feel safe around her.
Most importantly, she discovered a new level of self-respect—
one that wasn’t tied to anyone else’s approval.
If you’re feeling the pain of your world getting smaller,
the ache of not being seen, yet the fear of being truly seen,
know this:
it’s not your fault.
You’ve simply been operating under unconscious patterns—
a set of rules you didn’t write, but have followed for years.
Here’s the good news: just as you can train your body into fitness,
you can recondition your emotional fitness too.
This is the key to transforming your relationships—
not by chasing love or validation, but by becoming the kind of person
who magnetizes safety, connection, and joy.
And when you do this, not only do your relationships change,
but so does your entire experience of life.
It’s possible. It happened for Denise.
It’s happened for me.
And it can happen for you.
Are you ready?
I’m offering a free Blind Spot Session (normally $497).
In this 30-minute session, we’ll uncover:
This isn’t about blame—it’s about clarity.
Like Denise,
you may not even realize what’s been holding you back.
Sometimes,
it’s as simple as identifying an unresolved trigger you’ve been carrying for years.
Reply to this email with:
Finish with: “Nima, can I get your private calendar link?”
If you’re good at following these instructions,
