Why the Wheels Fall Off: Breaking Free from Midlife Cycles

At 43, I thought success
was supposed to make it easier.

Get the career.
Build the wealth.
Earn the respect.

And the rest would just… fall into place.

At least, that’s what I was sold.

But if you’re anything like I was,
you’ve built a life you were told would make you happy.
And yet…

something feels profoundly off.

It starts subtly, like a crack in a polished facade.

• That sinking feeling when small misunderstandings
escalate into something bigger,
 leaving you questioning how it spiraled so fast.

• The quiet grief of waking up next to someone
who feels miles away.

• The knot in your stomach
every time you anticipate their withdrawal,
wondering if you’ve done enough to hold it together

And then the cracks widen.

You wake up one day and realize:
Your achievements aren’t the solution.

THEY’VE BEEN THE DISTRACTION.

(That was a hard one for me to realize.)

Here’s what no one tells you about midlife:

The wheels don’t fall off because you’ve failed.
They fall off because you’ve spent decades
ignoring what’s under the hood.

WHERE IT ALL BEGINS:
Your nervous system knows the truth your mind refuses to face.

The anxiety at 3 AM isn’t just stress.
It’s your attachment wounds begging for resolution.

The fights with your partner aren’t just about them.
They’re the manifestation of patterns you’ve carried since childhood.

The exhaustion that follows you into every meeting--
It’s the weight of self-abandonment—
years of silencing your needs to earn validation.

This is the exhausting loop of doom:
A relentless,
negative cycle that hijacks your relationships,
your health, your vitality.

You push harder, desperately seeking connection,
and they retreat further, overwhelmed by the pressure.

You strategize. Analyze. Overthink.
But this isn’t a problem you can solve with logic.

This is primal.
It lives in your body, not your mind.

And the more you avoid the root cause,
the louder your nervous system screams:

        • Jaw clenched.
        • Stomach churning.
        • Energy drained.
This isn’t a midlife crisis.
It’s your nervous system staging an intervention.

This is why I left my Chiropractic practice.
I was only treating symptoms, not the cause.

Ironically, at the same time,
I was going through my own version of it.

At 43, I was drowning in success.
My relationships were falling apart.
My body was on edge.
My mind was locked in relentless overdrive.

And I was terrified to admit what I knew deep down:

All the success in the world
couldn’t heal the broken parts inside me.

It took me hitting the wall—
emotionally, physically, and spiritually—
leading to a wake up call in an abusive relationship
where the police were involved
to see the truth:

My patterns were running the show.
Years of avoiding my shadows were catching up with me.

I could either keep the wheels spinning in the cycle,
or I could face the hard truth:

I had to do the work.

Not just cognitive work.
Talk therapy, anger management that doesn’t heal you.
Not just reading another book.

I had to dive into the depths:
To understand my attachment wounds.
To heal my nervous system at a biological level.
To integrate the parts of me I’d been rejecting,
and putting on a mask to hide.

It wasn’t easy.
But it was my turning point.

That’s why, this past November on my 49th birthday
when my father asked me how I felt about turning 50,
I could honestly say:

"I’ve never been more excited about what lies ahead.
I’m proud of who I have become.”

Not because life is perfect now.
But because I’ve stopped pretending it is.

(I have tears in my eyes as I write this).

THE CHOICE POINT

If you’re stuck in the loop of doom,
this isn’t your fault.

It’s a pattern you inherited
from people who didn’t know about it,
and didn’t have the tools or path to rewire.
It sucks, I know, but here you are.

And yet there’s good news:
It’s one you can transform.

The question is about WILLINGNESS:

Are you willing to move beyond only taking
courses in communication and venting session
to dive deep at a biological level?
Are you willing to face the discomfort
to find freedom on the other side?

The wheels fall off at midlife not because you’re broken.
They fall off because your body knows it’s time to finally heal.

The question is— are you ready to listen?

Because here’s the truth:

This isn’t just about breaking free from a cycle that keeps you stuck.
It’s about stepping into a version of yourself
that you’ve always known was possible but didn’t know how to reach.

We’re not getting any younger.
But when we focus on healing our attachment wounds
and regulating our nervous systems—
when we become truly Trigger-Proof—
not only are we slowing down the aging process,
we’re creating something priceless:

Safety within ourselves.

And that safety translates into everything:

• Health and vitality that radiate from the inside out. (No more sedation).
• The confidence and self-worth to know
we don’t need anyone else’s validation to feel worthy.
• The freedom to take off the mask and live authentically.
• The capacity to expand into secure relationships—love that only exists
when you show up as your most authentic self.

This work isn’t just about relationships—
it’s about your whole life.

And as I round the corner toward turning 50,
I’ve decided I’m hitting that milestone as the most physically,
emotionally, spiritually, and relationally fit I’ve ever been.

And I’m bringing my community of cyclebreakers with me.

Because there’s no price tag for being able to look in the mirror
and genuinely say, “I’m proud of you.”

And I want that for you too.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima