How To Help a Struggling Child

If you’re a parent with a struggling child,
this is for you.

See if you can relate:

Your child is acting out again.

Maybe it's meltdowns.
Maybe it's defiance.
Maybe it's withdrawal.

Maybe they're anxious,
depressed, or just...
different than other kids.

Your first thought is probably:

"They need help.
They need therapy.
They need to be fixed."

But what if the problem isn't with your child at all?

If I told you that your child's behavior
is actually showing you something much deeper…

Would you believe me?

Sounds crazy to many of our clients I share this with.
They get defensive when I say “the kid is reflecting
something within you that needs healing.”

But eventually they come around
when they gather the courage to look.

Here's what most parents don't realize:

Your child is your mirror.

Every behavior in them that triggers you
is reflecting something unhealed in you.

When they have big emotions
and you feel overwhelmed...

When they act out and you lose your patience...

When they struggle and you feel helpless...

You're not just reacting to their behavior.

You're reacting to a younger part inside of you.

The part of you that was told to be quiet.

The part that was shamed for having big feelings.

The part that learned emotions weren't safe.

(Often they’re the exact age you were at when you were struggling). 

Your child then becomes your spiritual practice.

They show up exactly as they need to,
to help uncover the parts of you that were rejected long ago.

When your 8-year-old has a meltdown,
they're not just processing their emotions—

They're giving you a chance to heal the 8-year-old inside you
who never got to have those meltdowns
without a painful consequence.

When your teenager pushes boundaries,
they're not just being difficult—

They're showing you where YOUR boundaries
were violated as a child.

This is why sending them to therapy
often doesn't work long-term.

You're treating the symptom, not the source.

The source is the unhealed wounding you carry.

The judgments you hold about parts of yourself.

The emotional patterns you unconsciously pass down.

Your nervous system speaks to their nervous system.

You might think that’s “woo” but
when you're dysregulated,
they become dysregulated.

When you judge their emotions,
they learn to judge their own.

When you can't hold space for your own pain,
you can't hold space for theirs.

But here's the beautiful truth:

When you heal yourself, you heal them too.

When you stop judging the wounded parts of yourself,
you stop judging those parts in your child.

When you learn to regulate your own nervous system,
you create safety for theirs.

When you integrate your own shadows,
your child no longer needs to act them out.

The child in front of you
is showing you the child inside of you.

Every trigger then has the opportunity
to become a gift.

Every challenging behavior is a doorway.

Every moment of struggle
is an invitation to heal—

Not just them,
but the generational patterns
that created this in the first place.

Imagine this instead:

Your child has a meltdown,
and instead of losing it yourself,
you become their calm anchor.

Your teenager pushes back,
and instead of taking it personally,
you see their need for autonomy and safety.

Your child struggles with anxiety,
and instead of trying to fix it,
you help them learn that all emotions are welcome.

This happens when YOU do the inner work first.

When you parent the younger version of yourself.

When you give yourself the love and acceptance you never received.

When you become the parent to yourself that you want to be to your child.

Your healing is their healing.

If you're ready to transform your relationship with your child
by transforming your relationship with yourself—

You're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima