This is a note for women who are frustrated with the men they
are with (or seem to attract— wondering if all men are “weak”.)
Avoidant, weak men.
Never in a million years would I have imagined writing an email like this.
I’m a retired Chiropractor by training, not a psychotherapist.
You can imagine my inner resistance to sharing what I’m about to share:
- "Nima, what right do you have in sharing these 5 misunderstandings you noticed in women
who are tired of attracting weak men?"
- “Shut up, Nima, they’ll think you’re ‘mansplaining’”
- “The feminists will go mental over this.”
It’s true. There’s a vast majority of men who are showing up weak these days.
I won’t get into the reason why that is on this post.
I used to be one of them, and I ended up hurting the women I was with
before I had my wake up call.
I’m speaking to women who are tired of attracting the same type of behavior in men,
wondering if it’s even possible to evoke healthy masculine behavior,
instead of the following:
- F*ckboys who just want sex without commitment
- Men who don’t plan, don’t take the lead
- Men who don’t care about your feelings and are avoidant
- Men who aren’t devoted— they leave it all to you to decide
- Men who don’t pursue and cherish and want to go the distance
- Weak men who act like children— men you need to “mother”.
In interviewing dozens of women over the last few months
there were 5 gaps in understanding they all shared that kept them stuck in a loop
like it was groundhog day.
See if you can spot yourself in any of these unintentional blind spots:
1) OVER RELIANCE ON THEIR MASCULINE ENERGY:
While their strong, independent nature serves them well professionally,
it creates imbalance in personal relationships.
They often have trouble relinquishing control and
allowing themselves to be led by a masculine partner.
(What a catch 22 that is).
2) UNRESOLVED ABANDONMENT WOUNDS:
Past experiences of abandonment or neglect, often stemming from childhood,
lead to getting defensive when triggered. This makes it nearly impossible to form
secure attachments in adult relationships.
(Which is frustrating AF).
3) FEAR OF INTIMACY AND VULNERABILITY:
Many of these women have built up emotional armor to protect themselves,
which inadvertently pushes away potential partners who are drawn to vulnerability.
Masculine men loooove vulnerability.
WEAK MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO YOUR PERCEIVED STRENGTH.
(See the conundrum here?)
Just wait— it gets juicier.
4) UNCONSCIOUS SHAME AND UNWORTHINESS:
Deep-seated feelings of shame or unworthiness
can cause these women to hide their true feelings,
creating a sense of mistrust that repels potential partners.
Masculine men feel “wait a second—what’s she hiding?”
and it causes that feeling of a lack of safety within — to spill outward.
(how maddening is that— when all you want is to be loved for who you are).
5) DIFFICULTY RECEIVING LOVE AND SUPPORT:
Many of these women struggle to accept care and affection from others,
often due to past traumas or a fear of vulnerability.
This can manifest as an inability to trust or fully open up in relationships.
This one is the most challenging to overcome because in order to heal,
we MUST take the time and space to receive, which feels icky to that type of woman.
So this unconscious dance continues, and women are tired,
frustrated, feeling unlovable, unworthy, and sad that men aren’t stepping up…
yet they can’t see how they are LITERALLY CO-CREATING IT THEMSELVES.
Without even knowing— when women aren't addressing these blind spots,
they are unintentionally sending out a “bat signal” that PUSHES
healthy masculine behavior away, and calls for immature childish behavior.
One woman complained to me that no one makes her needs a priority.
“What about me and my needs????” she said.
And when it came time to attend my signature event— The Overview Experience,
she couldn’t fully participate because she made herself available to everyone else,
and took phone calls and found a way to miss the MOST IMPORTANT PART
— the climax at the end (which is a surprise that shocks everyone when they experience it).
It was a perfect reflection of her entire relationship dynamic— playing out in real time.
No time or space for your needs, desires, feelings, and emotions.
Not feeling cared for.
Not a priority.
I see this kind of thing every day with frustrated men and women who have tried all the things.
I want you to know if you can resonate with any of these blind spots,
I see you and it’s not your fault.
I invite you to see your relationship story as a giant mirror.
In an ideal world, this “magical other” will come into your life and solve this painful dilemma for you.
Unfortunately in the real world WE must take the steps to make the shifts.
when you get those right, you become Trigger-Proof and you master
the frameworks to get into a space of deserving,
and you learn how to lean into those patterns and shift them,
Your self esteem elevates.
When your self esteem shifts, your behaviors change.
You begin to speak to yourself with compassion and kindness.
You start to show up with magnetism and the world opens up to you.
You feel desired, cherished, and taken care of.
Your needs become a priority.
You feel safe to surrender into RECEIVING.
THIS is where secure love is formed.
The type of partner you attract begins to elevate.
This type of frequency you embody is a REPELLANT
to weak, selfish and douchy type of behavior in men.
The only questions no one can answer for you is:
DO I BELIEVE I can change?
Do I have the WILLINGNESS to?
Answer those correctly,
and you attract something TOTALLY different.
Not all men are weak.
There’s a frequency that causes us to shift,
and shifts what we bring into our lives.
You deserve to understand how to tap into it.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
P.S. If you resonated with any of these misunderstandings
and feel like you’ve been attracting weak or avoidant partners,
and are curious to get to the root of what’s been missing.
Share your back story—comment below and tell me what have you already tried
in therapy or personal development, communication courses,
and what blind spots you think might be holding you back.
If you’re genuinely ready to shift and finally step into a secure and fulfilling relationship,
and you’re open to feedback from a man who has been “that guy” and can
pick out what causes women to attract that same type of guy I used to be,
ask for my private calendar link at the end— with “Nima can I get your private calendar link?”
If I see something in your story I’ll send you my link
for a free 30 minute intuitive blind spot session.
