I used to be so sure I knew why relationships crumble.

Communication issues.
mismatch of values.
The wrong partner.
A lack of magnetism.

That’s what I told myself as I jumped from relationship to relationship, wondering why I kept ending up in the same cycles of conflict, disconnection, and frustration.

If you’ve ever thought:

“Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?”
“Why does every argument feel like the same one, over and over again?”
“Why do I give so much but still feel unseen,
unappreciated, and disconnected?”

Then you’re not alone.

Eventually, I saw the truth:

It’s not about them.
It’s about what I wasn’t seeing in myself.

The Real Source of Relationship Struggles

Most people believe that "good" relationships
are about finding the right partner
or learning the right communication tactics.

But the truth is, you could have the most loving,
supportive, compatible partner,
and STILL feel stuck in the same painful patterns.

Because the root of those patterns isn’t in your partner—it’s in your shadow.

What you haven’t healed, you will “project”.
What you deny in yourself,
you will attract in others.

Think about it:

• The criticism you direct at your partner
  often mirrors the way you speak to yourself.
• The emotional needs you ask them to fulfill
  are usually the ones you’ve been avoiding within yourself.
• The fear of abandonment or rejection
  that keeps you stuck in toxic cycles
  isn’t caused by them—
  it’s an echo from unresolved childhood wounds.

And here’s the most frustrating part:

If these shadows aren’t confronted,
they will control your life and relationships.

You can leave a partner,
but left unresolved—
you’ll end up doing the same dance again with the next one.

This is why no amount of couple’s counseling or communication techniques
will work until you address the root issue.

I had done “all the work.”
I didn’t need more surface-level fixes.
I needed a new understanding.

The good news is,
once you understand the hidden dynamics
driving your relationship struggles,
everything changes.

• You stop blaming your partner
  and start taking radical ownership of your healing.
• You stop reacting out of old patterns
  and start responding from a grounded,
  secure place.
• And you finally create the kind of connection,
  intimacy, and freedom you’ve always wanted.

This goes beyond understanding the problem.

The goal is to experience the shift.

If you’re here, reading this,
you’ve likely already felt the cost of waiting.

The endless arguments.
The emotional exhaustion.
The fear of losing yourself—
or your relationship—
entirely.

But waiting won’t make things better.
Acting will.

Although no one can do this work for you,
you don’t have to do it alone.

Your guide on the side
and wingman on the adventure,

Nima