Betty was stuck in a codependent marriage.
She didn’t know it at the time—
she didn’t even have the language to define what it was.
To her, it just felt like resentment.
- She was over-giving,
constantly abandoning her own needs for his. - She lived in a push-pull dynamic,
where every argument ended with him threatening to leave. - She was in a constant state of panic,
always chasing his approval.
And the way he showed up didn’t help:
- He seemed selfish—like her needs didn’t matter.
- He demanded constant validation,
with an air of entitlement that left her repulsed. - He was passive-aggressive and invalidated her experience.
His mood dictated hers,
leaving her feeling trapped and exhausted.
It felt like she was living with a big baby
whose emotional state controlled her entire day.
If this hits close to home, I want you to know:
You have every right to feel frustrated, angry, and hurt.
But here’s the thing:
Codependency isn’t your fault—
it’s your programming.
It’s the fishbowl of dirty water we’re born into.
Unless your parents had done their own healing work,
it’s likely they passed this dynamic onto you without even realizing it.
(Take a wild guess who *you’re* unknowingly passing it onto.)
So let’s throw out the word “blame.”
Blame is what keeps us stuck.
Blame says, “This isn’t mine to deal with.”
But understanding— Understanding says,
“Healing this is the key to my freedom.”
Your partner’s behavior might be toxic,
but healing begins when you stop focusing on what they’re doing
and start looking at what you’re bringing to the table.
What Betty didn’t realize was that her resentment wasn’t just about him.
It was also about how she kept abandoning herself:
She had difficulty setting boundaries:
She didn’t know how to say no without guilt.
She kept taking responsibility for his emotions:
She felt like his happiness was her job.
She kept neglecting her own needs:
She gave everything and left nothing for herself.
She was living in constant resentment:
This showed up as tension in her neck,
shoulders and tightness in her jaw and zero desire for sex
She didn’t realize that every time she abandoned herself,
she built up more anger toward him—and herself.
(Take a wild guess where she learned these behaviors.)
If you guessed that she learned it in her family system…
that it was passed down to her from her own mother…
You are correct.
(Now take another guess who she’s passing it down to).
This is the cycle that keeps you stuck:
- Venting to therapists or friends
but never addressing the root cause. - Aligning with others who share similar stories,
swapping tales of victimhood. - Refusing help, all while feeling guilty for not doing enough.
And the worst part:
Every time you abandon yourself for connection,
you feel more unseen, more unheard, and more unworthy.
HOW TO SHIFT:
100% of the students at the Overview Experience
come in believing their partner is the problem.
But what they learn is humbling:
- They’ve been the perfect match for someone with toxic behaviors
because of the patterns they haven’t healed. - They’ve co-created the dynamic—without realizing it.
- They’ve been chasing external validation
because they haven’t learned how to be safe and whole within themselves.
And best of all— there’s no one to blame.
It’s a hard truth, but it’s the truth that sets you free.
Once you take ownership, something shifts:
- You start setting boundaries without guilt.
- You stop taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions.
- You reconnect with yourself, your worth, and your needs.
- And suddenly, the dynamics around you begin to change.
Because the blame game keeps you stuck in resentment,
but ownership sets you free.
THE POWER TO CHOOSE:
Every person who takes this pause to reflect faces the same choice:
- Face the Shame: Lean into the discomfort, take responsibility,
and learn how to become Trigger-Proof.
Or - Stay Stuck: Keep blaming, stay bitter and resentful,
and let the same patterns control your life.
Your higher self knows the truth:
This isn’t their fault. It’s not your fault.
It’s a co-creation.
Healing isn’t about blame.
It’s about breaking free.
Your wingman on the adventure to freedom.
Nima
P.S. I’ve never done this before. This Black Friday offer has never been
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break free from codependency, rewire the patterns that have kept you fawning,
and step into the secure, Trigger-Proof version of yourself.
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which includes a 1-1 blind spot session with me (if you’re open to feedback).
