Losing yourself in a relationship doesn’t feel good.
This is why our avoidant parts show up:
To protect ourselves from losing ourselves.
I was there-- wanting connection,
but not knowing how to connect without losing myself—
and being overwhelmed by my partners feelings,
and trapped in their moods.
That’s when I discovered what “enmeshment" was.
Let me paint a picture:
• Their mood shifts, and suddenly, your whole day is ruined.
• You’re walking on eggshells, constantly trying to avoid upsetting them.
• When they’re sad, anxious, or angry, it feels like your job to fix them—
or you’ll lose them.
• You keep giving more of yourself,
hoping it’ll finally be enough for them to show up the way you need.
But it never is.
Instead, you’re left exhausted, resentful, and empty.
This is enmeshment—where the lines between you and your partner blur.
Their emotions become your emotions.
Their pain becomes your responsibility.
Their chaos becomes your life.
At first, it feels like love.
Like connection.
But here’s the truth:
It’s not love—it’s survival.
You abandon yourself to keep the peace.
You sacrifice your needs to rescue them from their own pain.
You live for their approval, because without it, you feel unworthy.
And deep down, you know something is wrong.
• Why do I keep giving so much and getting so little?
• Why does their happiness always come at the expense of mine?
• Why am I stuck in this loop of feeling unappreciated, invisible, and alone?
Here’s why:
Enmeshment isn’t connection.
It’s a trap.
You can’t abandon yourself without creating resentment.
You can’t sacrifice your needs and expect to feel whole.
You can’t fix them without losing yourself in the process.
This pattern didn’t start with your current relationship—
it started long ago.
Maybe in childhood,
when breaking your own boundaries was the price of love.
Maybe in past relationships,
where giving too much felt like the only way to keep someone close.
If nothing changes, this becomes your reality:
• Constantly second-guessing yourself and your worth.
• Feeling drained and unfulfilled, no matter how much effort you put in.
• Living in fear that one wrong move could push them away.
• Resenting them, resenting yourself, and feeling stuck in a cycle of blame and guilt.
• Wondering why love feels more like a battlefield than a sanctuary.
The good news is that It doesn’t have to be this way.
You CAN become Trigger-Proof in relationships
where things can slowly shift.
The way out isn’t waiting for them to change.
The way out is breaking free of the enmeshment patterns that keep you trapped.
When you do,
• Their moods no longer control your life.
• You stop feeling responsible for fixing them, and instead focus on your own peace.
• You set boundaries without guilt and watch as your energy begins to return.
• You reclaim your confidence, your voice, and your ability to show up authentically.
And when you create this space for yourself,
you open the door to a different kind of relationship.
One rooted in mutual respect, true connection, and emotional freedom,
as a reflection to the safety you feel within YOURSELF.
Imagine what life could look like in a Trigger-Proof Relationship:
• Waking up feeling free to be yourself, without fear of how they’ll react.
• Having calm, productive conversations instead of emotional blow-ups.
• Feeling safe in your relationships—not because they’ve changed, but because you have.
• Experiencing love that feels light, supportive, and real.
I wanted a reality where I could have a relationship without losing myself—
a space where we weren’t trapped in each other’s emotions.
No more sacrificing my identity for connection.
No more disappearing into someone else.
The shift has been night and day for me.
This is what happens when you become Trigger-Proof.
It might not have been modeled for you growing up, and that’s okay—
it’s not your fault.
But it is your opportunity to break the cycle of enmeshment
— for you and for the next generation.
Your wingman on the adventure.
Nima
