Nobody likes facing their shadows.
These darker parts of ourselves are buried in a ton of shame.
Even though we get into relationships to connect,
love, and build a home that feels safe and secure,
without the right healing work, and lack of skills developed,
relationships end up feeling like a prison.
Their emotions and moods tend to infect yours.
You feel not seen, not heard.
Emotions take over and the entire relationship
feels like a mine-field where you’re just avoiding your triggers.
See if you can spot the signs:
Feeling like your partner keeps you at arm's length
and avoids meaningful conversations or emotional intimacy,
leaving you feeling disconnected and unimportant.
(Hello Emotional Unavailability?)
- The hot-and-cold dynamic
where your partner seems attentive and affectionate one moment
but distant and uninterested the next,
creating confusion and anxiety.
(Hello Inconsistent effort?)
You struggle to address issues because your partner shuts down,
avoids discussions, or becomes defensive whenever problems arise,
leaving conflicts unresolved.
(Hello fear of conflict?)
Feeling emotionally isolated in the relationship,
even when you're physically together,
because your partner doesn't open up or share their inner world.
(Hello chronic loneliness?)
Noticing your needs and feelings are dismissed or ignored,
leaving you feeling unimportant, unheard, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
(Hello feeling undervalued?)
Not to mention the lack of Initiative in planning, avoidance of vulnerability,
attachment anxiety and the fear of abandonment constantly triggered,
one sided energy between you two, leaving you
constantly feeling uncertain about the future.
This is all the result of wounds that haven’t been addressed,
and even though it’s not your fault—
YOU’RE NOT POWERLESS TO SHIFT THE DYNAMIC.
That’s why, when someone—usually women or the feminine partner—
reaches out complaining about their partner’s emotional unavailability,
reactivity, or lack of effort,
and they’re just waiting for their partner to step up first before they’ll work on themselves,
I cut straight to it:
You can’t force someone else to change. Period.
Here’s the deal: If you’re sitting around waiting for them to magically wake up,
take responsibility, and meet you halfway, you’re wasting your time.
The longer you wait, the more you’re avoiding your part in the dynamic.
It’s like wanting to get fit but refusing to go to the gym
because your partner isn’t sweating enough.
Make it make sense. In a perfect world they will WANT to get healthy…
but to get healthy and change— one needs to be INSPIRED.
And think about the best way to inspire them.
This isn’t about who’s more at fault.
It’s about taking ownership of your own growth, and becoming Trigger-Proof
for yourself and no one else… so that,
regardless of what they do, you’re not stuck in the same place.
You can’t control them, but you can control you.
So, the real question is:
Are you willing to do the work, even if they don’t?
When someone commits to the path of being the Cyclebreaker…
When you become Trigger-Proof there’s magic on the other side:
IMAGINE THIS:
You stop needing your partner to validate your worth.
Their moods, words, or actions no longer control your sense of self or ruin your day.
You walk into every room knowing you don’t need to prove yourself.
Your confidence is quiet, grounded, and undeniable—and it attracts people who see your value.
Saying “no” feels as natural as breathing.
You’re no longer afraid of disappointing others or being seen as “difficult”
because you prioritize your peace over their approval.
Arguments don’t escalate to chaos.
Instead, you communicate clearly, regulate your emotions,
and handle disagreements like a calm, rational adult.
Fights don’t last for days—they’re resolved and forgotten.
People feel drawn to you—not because you’re trying to please them,
but because your inner peace radiates outward.
You’re no longer chasing anyone; they come to you.
By becoming Trigger-Proof,
you become the kind of person who attracts—
and sustains—secure, loving relationships.
It’s got nothing to do with “them stepping up”.
It’s about you.
Yes.
You ARE that powerful.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
