The Choice We Don’t Consciously Choose

Written By Dr. Nima

On September 12, 2024
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Sally’s words hit me like a ton of bricks: ‘I wasn’t expecting that.
This is going to take me a while to process.’
 
It’s no surprise—she had just completed her Overview Experience (OE)
a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, this isn’t your average Zoom call.
OE isn’t just another Saturday evening where you’re partying or sedating from the week.
 
It’s a 6-hour, heart-pounding, mind-shifting adventure where a community of warriors
come to not only heal their attachment wounds but learn how to stop self-abandoning and fawning,
to find their authentic selves and finally build that self-worth we all crave— as a foundation
to connected secure relationships.
It's like a crash course in ‘why the heck am I still doing this?’ and ‘how do I stop?’
One woman who joined recently was at her breaking point—
struggling with a rupture with her 26-year-old son.
 
She showed up ready to STOP playing the victim,

ready to unearth those blind spots that are running the show.

That takes courage, my friend.

And here’s the kicker—so many people out there are hiding behind their therapists,

unknowingly stuck in the same codependent loops, looking for validation.
 

(Yeah, I said it.)

OE is for those who are ready to ditch the excuses and embrace the hard truth.

I don’t just teach this stuff—I live it.

 
From my days of surviving toxic trauma bonds and legal battles
to now living in the most secure, connected,

and hot-for-one-another relationship (even after the kid arrived).

How: By becoming Trigger-Proof and mastering what I call “Integrated Polarity,”

which is polarized communication on the OTHER SIDE
of healing that compulsion to repeat unresolved childhood dynamics.
And the magic?
 
It’s not just about techniques—it’s in realizing you’ve been living with a mask for years.
 
You’ve been ‘the good wife,’ ‘the perfect son,’ ‘the perfect girlfriend,’ “the helper,”
“the black sheep,"and you’ve found a cozy home for it, right?
 

But the more that mask becomes your identity, the further you drift from who you REALLY are.

It’s no wonder you’re feeling anxious and trying to cope.

 
Trying to be more “masculine” or “feminine” without the deeper work won’t cut it.
 
Very few want to understand the WHY and what they can do about it.
I’ve been there—being a people pleaser to the point I created an entire “Dr. Nima” identity for validation.
An identity who was a perfect match for my last relationship drama.
 
Underneath the mask,
there’s an authentic self inside of all of us,
hidden behind a f*ck ton of shame.
 
Consider the possibility that the relationship anxiety you might be feeling
is simply that part of you bursting to come out and say,
‘I’m DONE with the BS.
I WANT TO BE SEEN AND LOVED.
I WANT TO TAKE UP SPACE.
I WANT TO GET MY NEEDS MET TOO.”
You’ve read the books, you’ve done the therapy—but have you gone this deep before?
(hit reply and let me know).
 

I doubt it.

The Overview Experience is designed for brave souls who can no longer tolerate the mask,

and who are brave enough to be gently guided— there with the right path, tools, and strategy.
 
The somatic and cognitive exercises we do have changed my life and countless others.
 
And you don’t need a fancy office or perfect conditions to transform—
just the courage to show up and take off that damn mask.
 
This video is a recording from the OE back in 2021 during the lockdowns,
while I had to create a makeshift office
from the 2nd bedroom. We had just gotten married and had our son Dominic.
 
Watching who I was at the time, and the challenges
I was facing in trying to break free from a Trauma Bond
serves as a reminder to me that
even though the conditions were less than favorable in my life at the time,
I STILL knew who the f*ck I was, and who I’m here to serve.
 
And so can you.
Imagine being able to stop being SO AFFECTED by others.
 
To trust yourself so deeply that you stop looking outside for validation.
 
It’s possible—and it’s where your magnetism is hiding if you have the courage to look.
 
Without that ability to truly KNOW yourself
and love what you see when you look in the mirror,
you're always looking OUTSIDE for validation (and it will never be enough).
 
You’ll stay in relationships too long,
you’ll tolerate shitty behavior,
you’re run by the fear of abandonment,
you pick the wrong people who end up using you, because
you HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EXPRESS YOUR BOUNDARIES,
because you’ve never taken the time to learn.
 
I discovered that learning this was the foundation to receiving everything I desired.
 
When I got it right,
the world opened up to me to reflect the love and knowing I developed in myself.
 
And I gave up trying to prove it to those who couldn’t see it.
 
 
You deserve all of that, my friend..
 
Your wingman on the adventure,
 
Nima
P.S. I have an offer for a specific person who resonates with this message. 
(Forward this to someone you know who needs this)
If you’ve already invested in a lot of inner work and personal growth,
and are successful in work/leadership— and have developed some great insights,
but STILL feel stuck in what I just shared, 
I have some spaces open for a 30 minute intuitive blind spots session.
I’ve met some amazing people who have been following my work, 
and some have even figured out a massive piece of the puzzle after our conversation.
They took action where they were once stuck.
 
If you’re willing to implement and practice what you’re brave enough to discover,
and you’re ready to stop being held hostage by old patterns 
and finally break free from the mask that’s keeping you stuck, 
let’s talk. I’m offering a limited number of these sessions to help you uncover 
what’s really driving your anxious behaviors. 
If you’re serious about getting to the root of it and taking your power back, 
hit reply with your back story (I won’t respond if you don’t) 
and end it with: “Nima, I’m ready for the truth. Send me your private calendar link.”
 
 
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