WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?

(I had to hit rock bottom to figure it out.)

This pic right here —
It’s how I’m ringing in 2025—
With my radiant wife, Diana,
Our superhero son, Dominic,
And a heart full of gratitude for what once felt impossible.

And I’m going to be honest with you.
This wasn’t always the picture of my reality.

Let me take you back to 2018.
I was sitting in a dark,
quiet moment of my life—

Not knowing if I’d ever have a family,
Not sure if I’d ever find a relationship that felt like home.

I was stuck in patterns that had me drawn to unhealthy relationships,
caught between my past conditioning
and my future dreams.

And in that moment,
I asked myself a terrifying question:

“What do I actually want?”

It seems like such a simple question.
But if you’re anything like I was,
You don’t really know the answer.

You might catch yourself say:

“I want someone to choose me.”
“I want them to get help and change.”
“I want him to stop hurting and disappointing me.”

But notice something.
Too often —These desires aren’t about you.

They’re about other people.

Here’s what I learned during that dark season:
If you don’t know what you want for yourself—

You’ll keep outsourcing your sense of worth
to people and circumstances you can’t control.

“Why won’t they stop lying to me?”
“Why won’t they fix their avoidance and anger issues?”
“Why can’t he just set boundaries with his kids?”

(hint: “…so that I don’t have to feel so abandoned, neglected, and unworthy?”)

When I got brutally honest with myself,
I realized what I truly wanted was simple, but profound:

I wanted to feel safe within my own skin.
Safe and trusting myself to love.
Safe to express myself— my desires, my boundaries, and my beliefs.

Safe to build a life where I wasn’t merely surviving—but flourishing with someone soft, fun, and supportive by my side.

That decision changed everything.

Because when you get clear on what you want,
you can finally arrange your actions with your desires, and begin to say NO to everything that isn’t aligned.
Your focus becomes on what needs to change within YOU internally— and suddenly you go from disempowered victim to empowered co-creator of your life.

Fast-forward to today.

I’m not just sitting in gratitude with my family—I’m in awe.

In awe of this little boy who inspires me every day,
Of the partnership that feels like home,
And of the power of one simple, courageous decision:

To figure out what I actually wanted—
And to make it my mission to create it.

Every time I hop on an intuitive Blind Spot session,

I ask my clients the same question:
“What do you actually want?”

And here’s what’s interesting:

Most people don’t know how to answer it without focussing on OTHER people’s behavior first.

Because if you’ve spent your life chasing validation,
Mistaking longing for love,
Or twisting yourself into a pretzel to be chosen—

How the hell are you supposed to know what you want?

This isn’t your fault.
It’s your conditioning.

But here’s the good news:
You can break the cycle.
You can learn how to align with your authentic desires.

You can build the life and relationships you’ve been aching for— where it all feels congruent—in integrity…

With nothing to hide.

And it starts with this question.

What Do You Want?

If you’ve been waiting for permission to figure it out, consider this your invitation as we begin a new year.

The clarity you’re seeking is closer than you think.

But you have to be willing to stop running from yourself and start turning inward.

When you do, the world opens up.

The right people find you.
Your relationships transform.
And you finally feel at home—in your own skin.

With belief in what’s possible for you,
And unwavering excitement for your 2025,

Your wingman on the adventure.

Nima
(Happy New Year from Me, D and D to you and yours.)