This message is for the man who can’t feel.
The invitation is to see if any of this resonates:
You've mastered the art of keeping it together.
At work, you're reliable.
Dependable.
The guy who gets sh*t done.
With friends, you're solid.
The rock.
The rock.
But in your most intimate relationships…
Something's missing.
Something's missing.
She looks into your eyes and asks,
"Do you even love me?”
"Do you even love me?”
And though you say "yes,"
something inside you freezes.
something inside you freezes.
Do you?
What does love even feel like?
You've spent so long disconnected from your emotions
that you genuinely don't know.
that you genuinely don't know.
Sound familiar?
Recently, I spoke with Carlos,
a successful 46-year-old man
who built a stable life for himself and his family.
a successful 46-year-old man
who built a stable life for himself and his family.
From the outside, everything looked perfect.
But inside, he was hollow.
"I feel defective," he told me, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Like as a human being, these things should be natural."
"Like as a human being, these things should be natural."
He watched others connect deeply with their loved ones
while he remained on the outside, looking in.
while he remained on the outside, looking in.
"People don't really know me," he admitted.
"Not my partner, not my adult children.
I'm just somebody existing.”
"Not my partner, not my adult children.
I'm just somebody existing.”
That existence – successful but emotionally barren –
came at a devastating cost:
came at a devastating cost:
His marriage of 19 years ended.
His current relationship was heading the same way.
His adult children knew him only as a provider, not as a father.
He felt like "a failure" at the most basic human function:
Connection.
This isn't just Carlos's story.
It's the unspoken epidemic among high-achieving men.
We've been taught since childhood that emotions are weakness.
That vulnerability is a threat.
That keeping it together is more important than being real.
"Stop crying."
"Man up."
"Don't be so sensitive.”
"Man up."
"Don't be so sensitive.”
These messages didn't just shape how we express emotions.
They rewired our ability to feel them at all.
They rewired our ability to feel them at all.
Now, decades later, we're successful but isolated.
Accomplished but unfulfilled.
Present but not truly seen.
Present but not truly seen.
The most painful part is… without examining and resolving this—
we’re passing this legacy down to our children.
we’re passing this legacy down to our children.
They learn to doubt themselves because we doubt ourselves.
They hide their feelings because they've watched us do the same.
They grow up believing that emotions make them weak, vulnerable, broken.
They hide their feelings because they've watched us do the same.
They grow up believing that emotions make them weak, vulnerable, broken.
And the cycle continues.
But here's what most therapists won't tell you:
The problem isn't that you're "broken" or
"emotionally unavailable.”
"emotionally unavailable.”
The problem is that no one ever taught you
how to safely feel and process your emotions.
how to safely feel and process your emotions.
No one showed you that feelings aren't threats to be neutralized
but signals to be understood.
but signals to be understood.
No one demonstrated how to turn toward pain instead of numbing it.
And without that foundation,
even the most well-intentioned relationship advice falls flat.
even the most well-intentioned relationship advice falls flat.
Communication techniques are useless when you can't name what you're feeling.
Love languages are empty when you can't access your authentic emotions.
Relationship books— Just more concepts that never translate to real change.
As Carlos put it: "I avoid vulnerability because
I know it's going to pull up different emotions that I'm trying to avoid."
I know it's going to pull up different emotions that I'm trying to avoid."
But avoidance isn't working anymore, is it.
Your relationship is suffering.
Your connections are shallow.
Your partner is questioning whether you can truly love at all.
Your connections are shallow.
Your partner is questioning whether you can truly love at all.
And deep down, you might be wondering the same thing.
The truth is: You absolutely can love.
You absolutely can connect.
You absolutely can feel.
You absolutely can connect.
You absolutely can feel.
But first, you need to reclaim the parts of yourself you abandoned long ago –
the parts that knew how to feel deeply, love fully, and connect authentically.
the parts that knew how to feel deeply, love fully, and connect authentically.
Those parts of you still exist.
They're just waiting for you to create a safe space for them to emerge.
When Carlos and I explored this together on our Blind Spot Session,
something remarkable happened.
something remarkable happened.
He began to feel – really feel – perhaps for the first time in decades.
He named his guilt about how his emotional distance had affected his children.
He acknowledged his deep loneliness.
He connected with his fear that he was fundamentally defective.
I was there to witness it all with him.
And in that vulnerability, something shifted.
In his own words: "I feel very disconnected from the world.”
It wasn't pretty for him.
It wasn't comfortable.
But it was real.
It wasn't comfortable.
But it was real.
And that reality – that authentic connection to his own experience –
is the foundation of the intimacy he's been missing his entire adult life.
is the foundation of the intimacy he's been missing his entire adult life.
This is the work of becoming whole again.
Not by adding more techniques or strategies to your arsenal.
Not by trying harder to be what others need.
But by reclaiming your full emotional range –
including the parts that scare you.
including the parts that scare you.
When you heal your relationship with your own emotions,
and become Trigger-Proof, everything changes:
and become Trigger-Proof, everything changes:
Your partner feels your genuine presence,
not just your physical proximity.
Your children experience a father who's emotionally available,
not just financially supportive.
You feel alive instead of just existing.
For Carlos, the breakthrough came in just one 30-minute Blind Spot Session.
"I feel like a failure," he admitted during our call, his voice cracking.
I asked him to place his hand over where he felt that emotion in his body.
"Feel that for a moment," I told him.
"Let whatever emotions want to come up, come up.”
In that simple moment of guidance,
something extraordinary happened.
something extraordinary happened.
The wall he'd maintained for 46 years began to crumble.
Tears formed in his eyes – perhaps the first in decades.
"I feel very disconnected from the world," he whispered.
It wasn't just words.
It was a genuine emotional experience.
In 30 minutes, he went from intellectual understanding to embodied feeling.
He “got it”.
A new possibility emerged.
He “got it”.
A new possibility emerged.
From talking about emotions to actually experiencing them.
This is the power of a properly facilitated Blind Spot Session.
It's not about analyzing your past.
It's not about communication strategies.
It's about directly accessing the emotions you've been avoiding your entire life.
It's not about communication strategies.
It's about directly accessing the emotions you've been avoiding your entire life.
Consider the alternative to this work:
Another relationship ending because of emotional disconnect.
More years passing with your children never truly knowing you.
A lifetime of feeling fundamentally broken and alone.
Ask yourself:
“Is that the legacy I want to leave?”
Or are you ready to break the cycle –
for yourself, for your partner, for your children?
for yourself, for your partner, for your children?
The choice is yours.
You got this.
You got this.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima (I stand for healed families)
Women reading this:
If this describes someone you love, please forward this message.
It could be the permission he needs to finally address what's been missing.
If this describes someone you love, please forward this message.
It could be the permission he needs to finally address what's been missing.
P.S. If this message struck a chord,
and you're ready to discover what's possible for you,
I'm offering a limited number of Blind Spot Sessions (valued at $497)
for men who are serious about breaking free from emotional numbness.
and you're ready to discover what's possible for you,
I'm offering a limited number of Blind Spot Sessions (valued at $497)
for men who are serious about breaking free from emotional numbness.
As Carlos experienced, one 30-minute session
can reveal what years of traditional therapy often miss.
can reveal what years of traditional therapy often miss.
This isn't about analyzing your past or giving you more techniques.
It's about finding your specific blind spot and helping you feel –
genuinely feel – perhaps for the first time in decades.
It's about finding your specific blind spot and helping you feel –
genuinely feel – perhaps for the first time in decades.
In just one session, we'll:
- Pinpoint exactly where your emotional disconnection began
- Guide you through safely experiencing emotions you've been avoiding
- Help you feel what's been buried beneath the numbness
- Create a clear pathway toward emotional freedom
These sessions are intense and transformative.
They're not for everyone.
They're not for everyone.
To be considered, comment or DM with:
- Your relationship history and current challenges
- What you've already tried that hasn't worked
- What you hope to achieve through this work
End your response with: "Nima, can I please get a link to your private calendar?"
The transformation that begins in this single session can heal not just your relationships,
but generations to come.
But only if you're truly ready to feel again.
but generations to come.
But only if you're truly ready to feel again.
Women: If you're reading this on behalf of a man you care about,
encourage him to reach out.
Sometimes, permission from someone they trust is all they need to take this step.
encourage him to reach out.
Sometimes, permission from someone they trust is all they need to take this step.
