When we are going through a difficult time — It’s nice to feel seen and heard and understood by someone…
Especially when as a child you didn’t receive that container of “attunement.”
Often when we hit snags in relationships or something conflicting or confronting has happened,
it helps tremendously to talk to someone — and get it out.
There’s a blind spot in the traditional “mental health” model that people can’t see:
VENTING ENDLESSLY WITHOUT A SPECIFIC, TARGETED OUTCOME OF TRANSFORMATION
IS NOT HELPFUL TO US IN THE LONG RUN.
We hear this constantly with our students and clients.
Almost all of them are under the care of counsellors and psychologists.
All amazing humans trained in the “Behavioural” model.
One problem: The behavioural model doesn’t really “work” though.
Let me give you an example:
You want to upgrade yourself at work, but are paralyzed by feelings of failure. You go to a psychologist who does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
In those sessions, they take your belief “I’m a failure,” and
we make a list of the reasons why it’s not true.
You’ll see that you were the captain of the football or cheerleading team that went to state finals.
You’ll see that you had many accolades and completed many projects at school.
Maybe even had a degree.
And by summing up all the successes — you can then COGNITIVELY conclude that indeed, you’re NOT a failure.
But the problem is — that you still FEEL that way.
The “failure” part of you still lives strongly in your shadow — yet to be integrated.
Unless you merge with that shadow part of you, join it with compassion, THEN LEAD it into a new reality…
You’ll be trying to think your way out of feeling problems.
In this short 8 minute clip from a recent Live Event, Breathwork and Badassery, I had someone share something in the group who had been going to a therapist for 37 years…
and she NEVER learned what she learned in that one session about her Nervous System.
She realized that her therapy appointments were venting sessions where no real skillsets were learned.
She realized that her relationship with her therapist was just a transference of co-dependency —
using the practitioner as a surrogate parent instead of a guide.
That’s why if we want to heal — and create relationships that are fulfilling — it’s critical for us to become STUDENTS of our own Nervous Systems and learn how to stop OUTSOURCING our regulatory function to a therapist or counsellor…
and instead of looking for validation and unconditional support — start looking for a community and container where you’ll learn skills, strategies, tools, and not only receive support…
BUT BE OPEN TO BEING CHALLENGED AS WELL.
If we don’t have our perceptions and victim stories challenged
we’ll go decades into our stories — and not feel like we are getting anywhere, spinning our wheels,
having the same relationships over and over again — co-dependent on a therapist.
When you find the right guide,
you don’t need to “cope” anymore..
And you’ll KNOW you’re healing because people will see a shift in you. Your usual trauma reactions of “Fight/poke” “Flight/Run” “Freeze/hide”, “Fawn/submit” begin to shift to a different response….
Something more regulated…
And you’ll be the only one who knows why.
It makes a difference to invest in training for LEADERSHIP — connecting to YOUR OWN INNER VOICE…
otherwise we’ll be followers for the rest of our lives,
waiting for someone to rescue us.
If you’re ready to experience the difference between coping and healing…. You’re wondering why “it” doesn’t work and you’re ready to DO the ACTUAL work….
apply through this link to find out what best suits exactly where you are RIGHT NOW.
See you at the next perfect time….
Your guide on the side,
P.S. If you’re intrigued, watch this video.