Most high-achieving women I work with don’t struggle with confidence —
at least, not in the way people assume.
They know their value.
They’ve built successful businesses,
led teams, and made an impact in their industry.
They’ve fought to be where they are.
But sometimes even the most confident women
still catch themselves shrinking:
In meetings, they preface their ideas with
“This might be a dumb question, but…”
In negotiations, they hesitate to ask for what they actually want.
In conversations with partners or friends,
they soften their words to avoid seeming “too much.”
In social settings, they hold back their excitement,
ambition, or intelligence — just a little — so they don’t outshine others.
And the worst part is,
most of them don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Because shrinking isn’t always obvious.
It can look like:
Laughing off a moment when someone interrupts you, instead of reclaiming your space.
Underplaying your success to make others comfortable.
Waiting for the “right moment” to share an opinion or take up space in a room.
Downplaying your needs so you don’t seem “demanding.”
Women don’t do this because they lack self-worth.
They do it because they’ve been conditioned
to equate likability with playing small.
Women learn from an early age that:
- Being too direct makes you “aggressive.”
- Taking up too much space makes you “intimidating.”
- Owning your power makes you “too much.”
And so, even when you know your worth,
there’s still a part of you that holds back — just a little.
Not because you don’t believe in yourself.
But because somewhere deep down,
you don’t fully trust that your power won’t cost you something.
If this sounds familiar…
Here’s something you can do right now to start
walking into magnetic, effortless confidence.
The ‘Unapologetic Visibility’ Exercise
Notice the shrink (the “constriction” that happens in your body)
over the next 24 hours,
and pay attention to the small moments when you hold back.
Notice when you soften your opinion to be more “acceptable”.
Notice when you phrase your ideas as questions instead of statements.
Notice when you hesitate before speaking,
waiting for permission to take the floor,
instead of requesting it elegantly.
Interrupt the pattern.
When you catch yourself shrinking,
do the opposite — even just one time.
Instead of saying, “I think we should…” say, “Can I make a recommendation?”
Instead of defaulting to self-deprecation,
own your success without a disclaimer.
Anchor into safety.
If your nervous system reacts with discomfort (which it might), breathe into it.
Remind yourself: I am allowed to take up space.
It is safe for me to be seen.
My worth is not dependent on how comfortable others are with my power.
This exercise is the sort of work we’re doing inside Trigger-Proof & Magnetic:
The Self-Worth Code for Women Who Lead.
Power isn’t about a loud performance.
It’s about presence.
And if you’ve spent years minimizing yourself in subtle ways,
you can’t just “mindset” your way out of it.
You have to retrain your nervous system
to feel safe while standing fully in your power.
Inside this masterclass, I’ll be teaching:
- Why high-achieving women shrink themselves without realizing it — and how to break the habit.
- A live nervous system reset exercise to help you hold your power without anxiety.
- How to shift from playing small to leading unapologetically.
If you’ve ever felt like you have so much more to say,
more to contribute, more to own — but you still hesitate…
You need to be there on this Zoom training.
We go live Wednesday, February 26th at 5:30pm PST (8:30pm EST).
Click HERE to sing up
With compassion and clarity,
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
