Are you A Narcissist (or perhaps partnered with someone who is?)
Even though we all have to face a battle with our EGOs each day, in the Entrepreneur/CEO space, the highly competitive world of Online Marketing, Social Media likes and followers, it’s easy to see why so many people get so carried away with taking themselves so goddamn seriously.
There was a time when my timelines were saturated with selfies (I badly needed to be seen). I wasn’t posting much content that added any real value except trying to make me look good or be right.
Although I now try to focus more on helping raise consciousness as I work on elevating my own, using my mess as my message, especially with a new show I’ve been pumped about sharing — it seems that I am not immune from the attacks of people who are taking stabs at me both publicly and privately. The difference between me back then vs. now is that this time I’m not backing down from my critics who think they know who I am.
I recently received this message in my inbox:
“I believe Nima you have a narcissistic personality disorder which makes you appear you are doing healing work yet I don’t trust you one bit. When you make a public declaration that you have physically abused your partner multiple times and then withdraw from teaching/training other emotional mastery methods (which you don’t live in actuality behind doors) and have a governing body track your healing progress, then I believe you might have a slim chance to redeem yourself.”
At one time, that sort of feedback would have destroyed me. I couldn’t take criticism or any negative feedback AT ALL.
That’s the hallmark of Narcissistic traits: an inability to take criticism. The ego defenses would go haywire and your inner Kanye would react, deflect, and defend.
The threat of public humiliation was intolerable to me and when I actually experienced it last year, I didn’t think I could go on. Dozens of hours of inner work, coaching, men’s group work, shadow work, volunteer work, cognitive work, seminars, therapy, anger management classes, somatic work — also coming back to my previous volatile relationship and practicing responding differently to being poked at some more — all has taught me how to expand the space between stimulus and response along with it a few other great things:
- How to lower my anxiety levels
- How to breathe properly
- How to become more vulnerable
- How to master emotions in REAL TIME instead of only retro-actively
- How to stay more youthful looking
- How to connect to a deep “why” that isn’t about you
The gift of the whole experience is now a sacred duty to share.
Hence my new show. My mess is my message. As I teach and help others through the exact same thing, my healing journey deepens.
It’s quite meaningful. Oddly enough, I discovered a felt-sense knowing in my body that narcissism isn’t caused by overdoing self-love. It’s caused by a lack of it.
I will delve into what narcissism actually is, what is the opposite, how to tell if you need to look closely at yourself and start working through some sh*t, how you might end up dating/marrying someone who possesses those traits, and what to do from there if actually want to heal.
This will be a raw and vulnerable live episode I’m actually quite terrified of sharing and it’s something I’m doing BECAUSE it’s scary. I’m being called out and the thing I’ve been most afraid of all my entire life is what I’m putting on the line: public humiliation.
This will be a discussion with one agenda in mind: healing.
We will also have guest appearances of people who’ve transformed their relationships with challenging relatives and ex’s as well as Neuroscientist and “Anxiety MD” Dr. Russell Kennedy who will join the discussion with some explanation of the Science behind what we will be talking about.
Healing can’t happen without empathy and both sides will be discussed for the purpose of love, healing, and understanding.
Prepare to be triggered.