Confessions Of A Former Avoidant-Player Commitment-Phobe

Written By Dr. Nima

On August 13, 2023

(3 minute read)

To ladies navigating through the tumultuous waters of insecure relationship dynamics, and yes, to my fellow former commitment-phobes — lend me your “ear”.

Once upon a time, I wore the hat of the avoidant, the player, the commitment-phobe. I danced the dance of distance, of evasion, expertly maintaining a buffer between my true self and genuine connection. Caught in the trap of fleeting intimacy, a master of keeping things just on the cusp, but never truly diving in.

If you’ve ever been told “They’re just not that into you,” you might remember how that book-turned-into a movie brilliantly decodes men’s actions during courtship, aiming to empower women, allowing them to discern between genuine interest and mere amusement. It’s for every person asking themselves, “Should I Stay or Go?”, desperately hoping for clarity amidst the chaos of uncertain romantic dynamics.

Let’s just say I’ve become an expert in helping people answer this very question.

We often fool ourselves into thinking that if only they would fix their “anxious/avoidant” tendencies, or more hot sex will solidify a commitment– then things would go smoothly.

That’s a myth. A diversion.

So, ladies, when you’re trying to decode his actions, here are a few more signs to help you determine if he’s truly into you:

Vague Plans: If he’s always giving you a “maybe” or a “we’ll see” without ever setting concrete dates, it might be a red flag.

Avoids Introducing You: If you’ve never met his close friends or family, despite spending considerable time together, you might want to reconsider where things stand.

Reactive, Not Proactive: If he only responds when you initiate, rarely reaching out first or planning anything, he might not be as invested as you are.

The Ex-Factor: If he constantly brings up or compares you to his exes, it’s possible he’s not entirely present or committed to your relationship.

But let’s pivot from the signs to the solution.

If you’re an avoidant who can’t commit but wants to, or you’re in the anxious type that wants to master the art of magnetism, make sure you fill out all three questions and Join me in the Facebook group “Healing Love, Sex, and Money Conditioning.”

Beginning next week, I’ll spearhead 4 free masterclasses.

Masterclass #1
IS IT LOVE… OR A TRAUMA BOND?

Understanding the Push/Pull Dynamic

When: Wednesday August 16th @ 3pm PST to 4pm PST (plus Q and A) 6–7pm EST (8am Thursday the 17th for our friends in NSW)

Masterclass #2
UNPACKING and PREVENTING INFIDELITY

Is the relationship Salvageable?

Understanding the Impact of Polarity and Our Sexual Shadows

When: Wednesday August 23rd at 3pm-4pm PST (6–7pm EST) plus a 30 minute Q and A session with Dr. Nima afterwards. 8am on Thursday the 24th for our NSW friends

Masterclass #3
TRAUMA BONDS AND MONEY

Re-defining your sense of self worth

When: Wednesday August 30th @ 3pm PST to 4pm PST (plus Q and A) 6–7pm EST (8am Thursday the 24th for our friends in NSW)

Masterclass #4
BECOMING TRIGGER-PROOF
How to Shift Your Insecure Patterns

Dismantling Conflict to Create Deeper Intimacy and Purpose

When: Wednesday September 6th @ 3pm PST to 4pm PST (plus Q and A) 6–7pm EST (8am Thursday the 24th for our friends in NSW)

We’ll delve into these relationship dynamics, dissect your experiences, and craft strategies for healthier connections. This journey is about unpacking learned behaviors and rewiring into creating relationships rooted in trust, genuine understanding, and reciprocity.

If this hits home, if you’re eager to evolve and heal, join the group.

You don’t have to settle for breadcrumbs from partners like me. You can change how others show up for you. If I could shift the pattern, so can you. I went from confusion to clarity in healing the most important parts of life and now have what I could never have before. That’s why it’s such an honor to guide others to do the same, from “should I stay or go” to secure relationships.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

 

When you're ready to heal your relationship/attachment wounds and create relationships that feel secure, here's what we got:

1) Subscribe to my Youtube Channel and binge watch my videos

2) Subscribe to my Podcast "TriggerProof Transmissions"

Are you ready to work together? I'd love to see if we are the right fit. Apply HERE.

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