Understanding Your Attachment Style

Written By Dr. Nima

On April 1, 2023

Tell me if you can relate to this.

I was 43 years old when I realized I had it all wrong.

Growing up with the values instilled in me,
I thought I had to prove my worth in the world with success.

In 2010 when I climbed that mountain and reached what I would have considered “successful,”
winning awards in my local community for Business Excellence,
breaking financial records I would have considered impossible only years prior…

That “peak” was the beginning of my downward spiral in my marriage
that ended up in divorce, leading to a series of failed relationships
one after another with almost the EXACT same pattern.

A great honeymoon phase— then I would feel trapped and want to escape,
looking for the next shiny new object.

I suspected there might be something “wrong” with me.
I suspected my bitterness from the divorce process left me in “fear of commitment”.

After feeling like I was missing something, I picked up the book “attached”
and discovered I had an “avoidant” attachment style.

Unlike MOST people who discover their attachment styles and say “oh well! that explains it!"
I went all-in with learning how to shift myself into a more secure state.

I had accomplished a lot in my life.  A healthy and secure relationship had always eluded me.

So I stopped distracting myself with ANYTHING ELSE and I tackled the work to avoid
facing my biggest fear:

Going into my 50’s and 60’s and 70’s as a f*ckboy who never could lead a feminine woman
OUTSIDE of the bedroom—INSIDE of a secure relationship.

I did what it took, traveled whatever distance, and payed whatever price
to refine my relationship skills and become better at this most important thing called love.

I did what I didn’t think I had the capacity or inclination to do:
Meet my person and become a dad.

Today, I’m inspired to teach what I needed the most:  The Path from Insecure attachments
to secure attachment where the relationship is polarized— maintaining erotic friction—
even after having a toddler.

I’m here to tell you it’s possible.

Understanding your attachment style is a good start.
BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH.
The task of healing from our Insecure attachments don’t come from watching videos and reading books alone.

The Trauma Bonds that keep us stuck in cycles run too deep.

We must break the cycle at it’s root and heal our unresolved attachment trauma,
take responsibility for how we react to our emotional flashbacks,
master emotional literacy,
heal from our trauma bonds,

and when you do — the entire world around you shifts.

You upgrade your relationships,
and begin to feel cherished (if you’re a woman)
you feel respected (if you’re a man)
and you no longer tolerate breadcrumbs.

The home becomes a sanctuary and safe space for kids to feel nurtured and understood.

This path can feel treacherous without a guide showing you the pitfalls and obstacles to watch out for.

The biggest obstacle is the sense of “am I really worthy of this anyway?”

I’m here to tell you that you ARE.
It’s your birthright.

When you’re ready to claim your worth and heal from what’s been stopping you,
and learn the skills to turn your triggers into deeper self love
and conflict into deeper intimacy
so that you can feel confident in ANY relationship
and have the courage to walk away when it’s NOT aligned,

send me a DM and tell me why this is so important to you right now.

I’m listening.

See you at the next perfect time.

Your guide on the side,
Nima

 

P.S When you're ready, here's what we got:

Are you ready to work together? I'd love to see if we are the right fit. Apply HERE.

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Naomi Wright
Naomi Wright
7 months ago

Hello, my story sounds kinda similar to yours. I’ve been in several failed relationships including a almost 12 year failed marriage that I’m still in a nightmare of a almost 5 year divorce. I was in a deep depression for year’s following when my divorce began. I’m a great mother but because he owes me over 100k in alimony he took my 3 children from me and he’s so so evil. no way do I deserve to have my children ripped away from me because of his selfishness. I am traumatized to my core but I’m finally starting to heal… Read more »

Nima Rahmany
Admin
7 months ago
Reply to  Naomi Wright

Tell me how can I support you?
My suggestion is to apply to work with us and invest in your healing.

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