How not Learning Self Regulation Destroys Relationship

Written By Dr. Nima

On April 30, 2023

Just had this question:

“I have these mood swings that when I am feeling down,
I feel I need to shut down and stay away from humans until I can regulate.
It could take me a good couple of hours to days to feel like myself again.
My ex-husband complained about this and my current partner complained about the same thing and he never met my ex.

Why is this a problem to anyone when I feel I need to shut down.
I need to be alone, how is that hurting anyone?

Or how else can I work over this?
I am not at my best self when I am in these states and I don’t want to create negative or shameful memories with people while I am at it.
Also it is not anybody’s burden to make me feel better.
I feel worse when I feel I am stressing someone out.”

In this video I unpack this entire question.
Without learning these 5 shifts—
I was doomed to keep repeating the cycle—
And that’s why I’m so keen on teaching these to this community.

When you're ready to heal your relationship/attachment wounds and create relationships that feel secure, here's what we got:

1) Subscribe to my Youtube Channel and binge watch my videos

2) Subscribe to my Podcast "TriggerProof Transmissions"

Are you ready to work together? I'd love to see if we are the right fit. Apply HERE.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

You May Also Like...

Rewiring Your Patterns Does This

What would you do if your partner who you loveddidn’t want to have s∊x with you? Option #1: Feel hurt, rejected, pine after them, beg, plead Option #2: Do option #1 then decide to leave and move on. Joe decided to do option #1— which was to do option 1 in hopesthat...

read more

Anyone can Become Locked in a Trauma Bond – Even Me

Anyone can become locked in a trauma bond – even me.   For 43 years, I kept finding myself in the same relationship over and over again: a relationship defined by insecurity, constant cycles of conflict and making up, and a strong desire to be “completed” by each...

read more

A Man’s Two Greatest Fears In Relationships

If you’re a man, or you’re in a relationship with a man, you’re wise to learn about the two fundamental fears every man contends with in relationships.   P.S. Remember, the end of a trauma bond isn't just an ending; it's the beginning of a journey back to your true...

read more